Open mouth, insert foot

FREEDOM!

2012-01-12T04:15:00.000-08:00

One never knows if one is about to do a smart thing or a stupid thing. Well, there is only one way for one to know, isn't there?
I say goodbye to the current hellhole to join a new place. I have no idea where this will lead me. And I frankly don't much care. I've moved past the stage where I wanted to become famous. Now I just want to be rich.
Toodles.

Story of my life

2011-03-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

- Bratty younger siblings are never the first to make up after a fight. Even when you can tell they're dying to talk to you.

- 'Yeh kya jagah hai, doston?' and 'Aansoon bhari hain' are songs I steer clear of when I'm sad.

- Also 'Whiskey Lullaby'.

- I always tell myself I will never ever speak to the husband again after a big fight. Ever. You can guess the sequel.

- Some fabrics are very transparent in the light. You realise this only when you step in to the light.

- All the good jobs are mostly taken by undeserving prats.

- There are actually people in this world who introduce themselves as 'smart, funny and good looking'. The 'funny' bit is true in most cases, albeit unintentionally.

- It is possible to think you are in love when you are actually merely in like.

- Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Vishal Bharadwaj sometimes sound similar.

- Loneliness is sometimes more manageable than unemployment.

- When a person says, 'I need help', drop everything and run to assist.

- It is possible for melanin in your scalp to correct itself. A grey hair can turn black or brown (or whatever) mid-way.

- People with half a brain and some amount of depth will not laugh during the sodomising scene in Saat Khoon Maaf. Believe me, quite a few people laughed in the cinema hall.

- One must not be judgemental. But it is boring if nobody is.

- I will not be upset or rattled if my child ever tells me he/she is gay. This is not a statement to create effect, this is a statement of fact.

- I always use men's deodorants.

- Many people at the gym do not use deodorants. Blech.

- One semester later, many people at the college still mistake me for a student. I was asked for my I-card yet again by a peon last week.

- I yelled quite severely at a girl copying during the internal exams last week. She was close to tears. I am not sorry for what I did.

- Say 'idli idli idli' fast. After a while, you can only hear 'dli'.

- I do not mind not having children. Just because I have a uterus, doesn't mean I want to use it.

- The Harbour railway line sucks donkey balls. I do not wish it on anyone.

- Journalism thrills. Kills.

- Vishal Dadlani would look funny with hair on.

- My mother is the snarkiest, funniest woman her age ever. Also very intelligent and hardworking.

- Marriage, sex, singlehood, parenting...all very overrated.

- Gossip is the best antidote to many ills.

- Sachin Tendulkar has as many detractors as fans.

- If I ever die suddenly, please somebody remember to donate my organs.

The little woman and the superstar

2011-01-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

He looked like a short prince, or at the very least a regal-looking tourist in an orange jacket, somebody who would start to look tubby the moment he stopped watching his weight. Like somebody remote and so good looking he had to be a movie star or a person who happened to get photographed often, you probably had to touch him to realise he was as flesh and blood as you and me, but maybe you had to slice open a bit of that white skin to know his blood was not royal blue.

So anyway. He was supposed to be there at 5 p.m., but a really important person must be fashionably late or risk being called a groupie or Amitabh Bachchan. Everyone else seemed to have made it to the theatre before him, and for two hours, we stared at several stars and their wives and husbands, admiring the flowing dresses and the well-cut (but not always well-worn) suits, the several glassy, unblinking stares and fixed smiles at hundreds of flashing cameras. I was staring so raptly at Dilip Vengsarkar and marvelling at how much difference a suit makes to a man, when there was a hush in the vicinity.

He was there.

He was to sit with his film’s leading lady in the centre of our row. Stupid idea, I remember thinking, because obviously nobody’s going to want to sit right in the middle of a line of little people who still couldn’t believe they were surrounded by so much royalty. He seemed to think so too, because he took one look at us, an entire line of inanely smiling faces and said, “No no, Gracy, you sit here. In the second seat.” Turning vaguely in our direction, he said, “I’ll need to get up often.” None of us said a word, though there was some sighing, and the cameras flashed in our direction. His leading lady shrank further in her seat, from genuine bewilderment or in a show of her purported acting skills, I really don’t know. He looked at the cameras frankly, a bit impatiently, and as the lenses adjusted and the shots were taken, it was like being in the neighbourhood of twenty bolts of lightning.

When he stood up again, his eyes locked into mine for the briefest second, and it was like there was ice around my heart. Because his eyes are truly beautiful, like a river lit by a sunset. Or that cool place where dreams retire to whisper their many secrets.

He turned away and was gone.

I watched him stride about, feeling a bit of emptiness inside, like a girl who’s lost her moment when she could have jumped on to a train safely. Instead I turned my attention to the tall, white dude seated in the row before mine, and who was wearing a white cotton kurta and an expression of bemusement so endearing on people when they are genuinely puzzled. Then he strode on to the stage and got his entire team together, made speeches with several hand gestures and smiled benignly as the audience, B-towners and little folk alike, laughed fakely at whatever he said. Then he got the tall white dude on to the stage and introduced him as the baddie of the film. “Don’t be fooled by what he does on screen, he is really one of the nicest people I’ve met,” he said, patting said dude’s shoulder. Har har, said the audience, clapping.

The film started. The premiere organisers decided they had to have us in a photo with him, because there is really no point giving out free film tickets if you’re not going to have photo proof. So we filed out of the theatre, just as Mr Bachchan voice began to tell us the background story, and waited in front of a staircase. A bossy photographer began shuffling us around the foyer, looking for a suitable backdrop. “This is good,” we heard him say, and the superstar himself was guiding us to a likely-looking spot in front of a huge likeness of him on a Lagaan poster. Again, the flashbulbs.

Then he turned to us and held out his hand for our tickets or any surface we cared to have his autograph on. I was last in line, detachedly looking outside the glass doors where a multitude of office goers and hangers on where standing under umbrellas or letting the July rains soak their bodies through a skyful of dull blue. All they could have seen was a blur of yellow light and photographers racing each other, an occasional celebrity and the big white bus he and his team had arrived in. But never him.

Some of our group had difficulty telling him their own names. “Ni-Nishtha,” a girl stammered, awestruck, finally shoving a greeting card in his hand. He took it with a smile but did not open it. She looked like she would faint when he shook her hand. And finally it was my turn. I shook his hand, warm and soft and professionally firm, looked in his eyes and said, “Vrushali.”

He signed my ticket with a flowing hand. “To Vrushali, love Aamir Khan,” he said, the first time a superstar’s ever said or written my name. “Oh,” he suddenly seemed to realise. “You’ll are missing the film.” Our group giggled again and started filing back into the theatre. When they looked back to see if he was escorting them, they found he was deep in conversation with a TV reporter. The guarded smile was back on his face.

I turned and walked out into the rain.

This post is my entry to IndiBlogger’s ‘FireFreeze’ contest. Do leave a comment and describe a FireFreeze moment you may have had. I’d love to hear from you.
http://www.facebook.com/closeupindia

Great journalism happens

2010-11-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

In the pursuit of journalistic excellence, you can often find me willing to go to any lengths to chase a story if the travel is paid for and the food and accommodation are free.

I confess. The only reason I even agreed to cover a car and bike race for an automobile magazine was that the event was scheduled at Bengaluru, where my darling now stays. “You’re coming HERE?” she squealed when I told her the happy news.

“Yes,” I said, wondering if I really was.

“You are?” she said in a hushed voice, wondering too.

“Yes,” I said, but I don’t think I was convincing enough. The husband looked fit to faint when I told him about it, and that I was actually turning the idea over in my head.

“Very good. You should get out more often,” he said sagely.

Hmph. One would think I was pale white from hiding in the house. (If you must know, my complexion is creamy.)

Then I started to think about more pressing matters, viz How, in the name of arse, was I going to cover a bike race?

Some footnotes may be in order at this point:
1. The question (How, in the name of arse, was I going to cover a bike race?) arose primarily because I know squat about any automobiles. (When I say ‘squat’, I mean ‘jack’.) If you asked me to deliberate on the subject, all I could tell you about any kind of automobile was that the buses in Mumbai were red and that my dad owns a Ford Ikon.

2. And also that I think the Tato Nano, in any colour, looks like it belongs in a cartoon film.

3. I cannot, even at my intelligent best, tell one car from another. Ditto for bikes.

4. I can, however, tell a car apart from a bike. I am not a total idiot.

And so I went to Bangalore.

The sister thought I would probably describe what I saw there as, “Some big white car with a green sticker on one side won the race.” I rather think she rolled her eyes when I scoffed at this line of thought. Well, har har. In keeping with my usual work ethic, I was extremely precise, clinical and unbiased while reporting the event. I append a critical paragraph from my as-yet unfinished draft, to illustrate aforementioned precision, clinicality and unbiasedpana:

‘_______ (insert name the moment you learn what it is) won what everyone kept referring to as the Dissel Wopen, and which proved to be, on thorough analysis and much sifting of official documents, the Diesel Open category. The winner was such a show-off about his victory that he came out of his car smirking all over his loathsome face and patting his own back, thereby riling certain sections of the crowd. This correspondent heard somebody on her right say, and she quotes, “Xjuouirljiuon melaiab wandapandi.” Translated from Kannada, this means, “Kitna shaanpatti kar rela hai, gaandu.”’

The hearing has still not been restored in my left ear, which was the ear closest to the start point, since I spent most of my time looking at the racers whizzing past. I keep getting Kannada flashbacks even in my sleep. I do not want to look at another idli for the remainder of my life. And the opening line of my piece really reads, ‘Some big white car with a green sticker on one side won the race.’ But the trip was fun and highly educational. If given a chance to do something like this again, I will certainly take it, provided it is in Bangalore.

And now I must go write the story before the editor decides to remind me. He says December 2 is my deadline, and though that is AGES away, I can see I have lost all my notes. Besides, I have other pressing matters to look into now that I’m back in Mumbai, such as What I should order for lunch.

Did I hear you say, “Xjuouirljiuon melaiab wandapandi”?

Wishes

2010-09-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

Jaya wanted a set of gold bangles for her birthday. Sumit thought that was too extravagant.

All day she complained about his lack of consideration. Never once to him, but to her friends at work. "I mean, come on," she said in tones of deep frustration. "I get him whatever he wants before he even says the word. Can't he do this much for me?"

"Men, men," one of them said in a commiserating voice, but the girl quickly flashed a look, part gleeful, part gloating, at another woman in the circle.

"So anyway, nothing for me this birthday," Jaya sniffed. She looked balefully at the sabzi in her lunch box, then said, "Anyway he'll just forget the day. I'm not reminding him again this year."

So in a disturbed state of mind a full three weeks before her birthday, Jaya persuaded herself that her thirty third would be the worst birthday ever. In the history of birthdays. In the history of history, as Po would say.

On the morning of her birthday, Sumit was nowhere to be seen. She called his cellphone, but it rang in their bedroom. Wondering if he'd suddenly decided to get back to his exercise regimen, she glared at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. If her mouth hadn't been so full of toothpaste, she might have screwed up her mouth and howled. My birthday and he's not even home.

Then he returned. In his work clothes. With a bouquet of red roses in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. And as he took her in his arms and she laughed as he twirled her around the living room in a practiced dance, she closed her eyes and thought, "He really didn't get me bangles."

A story.

2010-09-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

I think nobody knows how it started. They say that no partnership is ever equal, especially when one (or both) has dreams and ambitions separate from the other.

How awful, though. One morning he recounted a long anecdote about somebody eyeing his promotion at the end of the month, and not once, not for a second, did he realise that she kept her face hidden behind the newspaper. Not because she was reading it, but because she couldn't let the tears show. She kept saying, "Hmm," and "Really?" at really interesting points in his narrative, a habit born of years of listening on autopilot, and he did not notice even once the inflection in her voice.

What was more awful? That lately he does not even notice that she falls asleep in a second, sometimes too quickly. That she reaches out for a book the moment he sails into the bedroom, that sometimes she's holding the book upside down in what could have been a really funny situation had it not been for the tremble in her hands. That she does the dishes with increased violence each day, that she has less and less to say to him as each week passes on the calender.

He has his grievances, too. But he says not a word.

He does not notice. She does not see a thing. Love blinds.

Nothing matters

2010-08-25T08:12:00.001-07:00

And that is scary. At least, it used to be.

I blamed it all on inertia. On the fact that I wasn't as active as I used to be, on the fact that I had quit my job for reasons which seemed lofty at the time. And which seem demented now, but whatever.

There was an inertia phase, but only at first. Then it melted into total and complete indifference. Not a nice thing to have on your slate, indifference. Not healthy for a marriage. Not healthy for relationships. Not healthy at all, for anyone, for anything, for you.

But oh, what shall we do?

Never mind. Que sera sera.

Ye Gods!

2010-08-13T22:09:00.001-07:00

Nothing, I tell you, NOTHING fills you with happiness and quiet pride like the glow of achievement, however small and insignificant.

I have been in such a good mood lately, I haven't once yelled at the cat who invades my terrace at 10 p.m. every night, fixing me with an insolent stare before it retreats into the darkness of the neighbouring terrace. May be once my good mood fades a bit, I can go back to kicking at it and threatening it with my mosquito bat, which doesn't seem to impress it much anyway.

I am also cooking more, eating enthusiastically, and my neck has finally healed. Suffice it to say that I am really happy after such a long time.

Also, my husband is the best guy in the world. Smartest thing I did was marry him.

Bye for now.

Wheee!

2010-08-09T21:43:00.001-07:00

After two moments of delirious happiness, I am back to the waiting game.

I swear I have not waited for anything for this long. Keep you posted, people.

Once again

2010-07-17T06:32:00.001-07:00

My life is on hold. Because I am chasing a dream.

I would like to be braver, but I am not. Very scared, and very humbled by the extent of my fears.

I want to come out of the dark. How long, how long...?

It was Bleeaarrgghh.

2010-07-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

If you must know, Rajneeti the film sucks donkey balls.

And because Katrina Kaif's famous speech is being written about for about a year now, (how she took Hindi lessons and insisted on dubbing for it herself yada yada yada) I almost cried with frustration on seeing the speech scene. Katrina Kaif is surely pretty, but strictly teak wood in the acting department. So much so, that you feel like doing even that pretty face an injury after about ten minutes, just to make her more interesting.

The less said about the rest of the gang, the better.

The biggest tragedy was that Nana Patekar was not given more screen time. Please take up more movies, Nana. You had just two releases this year (the Dimple Kapadia coffee shop one being the earlier release) but you were memorable in both.

Most. Awesome. Trip. Ever.

2010-02-22T03:59:00.000-08:00

I would not normally have a favourable attitude towards anything that browned my skin to the point of making it a light black, or which involved a horrendous bus journey on the towards side of the trip. But ohmygod, I have just returned from an incredible road trip.

I went to Malvan, Tarkarli, Kudal, Shiroda and Vengurla. Within these five, I went to about more than 40 places.

I actually saw more beaches than I had prepared myself for. More pretty birds than I thought it was possible for god to create. More evidence of how an unsuspecting people, lured by the promise of good money, are about to ruin the Konkan coastline.

More reason to go again.

Plasticated

2010-01-21T23:07:00.000-08:00

Every new move, whether for the good of society or for the good of politicians, starts with a deception.

The BMC's rather good idea with regards to the ban on plastic bags in Mumbai, along the lines of Pune, is meeting with a whole lot of sly manoeuvring from shopkeepers. As per the new rule, shopkeepers cannot put their wares in those amazingly thin plastic bags when they sell stuff to people. The bags in question are those that drape themselves around you at the slightest breath of wind, or sink to the bottom of gutters and drains and are so thin that you can't even see them when they're wet.

The BMC is sending out random patrol teams, and the bigger news is, that customers seen carrying the aforementioned bags (or indeed, anything thinner than 50 micron) will be fined on the spot! Shopkeepers can also get off by saying that the customer insisted on a bag, though that should ideally not fool anybody.

Hence, shopkeepers have carefully hidden their carry bags under boxes or behind the refrigerators or masquerading as containers that carry soaps, toothbrushes et al. When a customer asks for a bag, they look left and right, up and down, inside and out, and swiftly whip out a bag. Having dumped all the purchased material in it, they politely ask you to scuttle off and not be seen again.

Other places have come up with their own business take on the matter. Places like Sahakari Bhandar handing out big bags of a thickness visible even to a blind naked eye have decided to encash on the no-plastic bag rule by charging an additional Rs 2 per bag they give. Be warned that bags above 50 micron should be given free with the items you purchase, so if anyone asks you to pay extra for such a bag, tell them to fuck off.

Suicidal tendencies

2010-01-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

The husband is one of those people who thinks 3 Idiots is really to blame for the rash of student suicides in the city. I still think it's coincidence.

May be the film did give two good ideas on how to do it. And then our depressed kids and teenagers went and adopted those two ideas because they had nothing better to do.

While the state government has (finally) decided to review its education system, I do think that if we are to review things that might change this alarming state of affairs (15 suicides in 15 days), let us also insist on a very clinical coverage of things.

Dr Harish Shetty seems to agree with me. He said in a piece written for Mumbai Mirror yesterday that the sudden rise in suicides could actually be attributed to what he terms 'copycat behaviour'. The media should not describe in detail how a particular suicide was committed.

Which makes sense. Instead of your three-column and photograph space in broadsheets or a half-page in tabloids, a brief one-liner should just about meet the case. Such as: ___ was found dead in ____ at the ____ area on ______. Bas, leave it at that. No elaborate descriptions on what the person was thinking, what had happened, how nice the child used to be when still alive, if his parents/ teachers/ siblings/ neighbours/ relatives had yelled at him prior to the death, and so on.

If this is indeed copycat behaviour, and since our kids seem to want to copy even matters of death, let us not have any suicide scenes in our movies, even if those scenes point to a larger picture. May be we could bring back those lovely 'Ek titli, anek titliyan' songs from our childhood so that our kids are exposed only to harmless influences?

In the interest of principles

2010-01-15T23:39:00.000-08:00

I cited 'personal reasons' for turning down a good offer to do freelance work for a reputed TV production house.

It was a good deal, in fact, a tailor-made one for a person who needs some cash fast and doing what she's been doing all along: report stuff. But there was a catch, a BIG one, like there always is with every new attractive proposition: I would have to counsel people and ensure I tied them up securely in their chairs to prevent them from escaping from the TV studios before the cameras began to roll.

The brief was simple: get sensational, shocking stories and get both parties to the studio to talk about it. Easy enough to accomplish if your brains are wired that way. Since my brain is not wired to anything at all, and I also have a screw loose, this was a major roadblock for me.

The husband understood perfectly, so did the mater. The sister got a bit shirty, but you can't please everyone, right? Most of all, I understood what was really bothering me so much.

The argument is that there are several suckers who sign up, nay, kick each other on the shins and hold a gun to someone else's head to get a chance to appear on TV. That 'Sach ka Saamna' was a big hit in its inaugural edition is proof enough of this fact. Kiran Bedi's 'Aap ki kachehri' had warring couples, families and whoever else in the middle of a feud come on TV and not only publicly wash each other but let Kiran Bedi hang everyone out to dry. I've always wondered why people would do this to themselves; maybe I overrated such concepts as 'personal space' and 'right to privacy' and whatever else.

It is also true that I completely and absolutely, from the bottom of my heart, detest these programmes because when I watch somebody baring their all on TV for everyone to judge and comment on, I feel like somebody who lost her way in a strange house and landed in a bedroom where a couple was making out against the cupboard. I almost tiptoe away and change channels with a mumbled 'Oh, sorry' in passing.

Hence, I turned the chance down. I have no regrets.

I am not trying to be Gandhi. I am also not trying to be, to quote Bridget Jones (after she tells off Mark Darcy) Mrs Iron Knickers. I realise that what I feel may be completely outdated, it may be naive and self-destructive. I understand that taking decisions based on the parameters listed above may mean that I always get left behind and never land good work.

Ah well, I still have love, music, family and a patient laptop to see me through. I shall survive.

Completely irrelevant post

2010-01-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

Irrelevant to you, that is. Not to me.

Tomorrow I hope to make some semblance of my life and put myself back into circulation for work. Am hoping to cadge a freelance assignment for a TV show and I have no details yet because they'll give them to me during the meet-up, which is tomorrow. *crosses all fingers, toes, and eyes*. Keep you posted on how that goes. Hope it's a good thing which makes sense, because I have never been afraid of working long and hard towards getting a good story.

God bless Yogi for pinging me when I needed a friend yesterday. And also for passing on relevant contact information.

I cannot believe I will be taking the local train after August last year! :-O I cannot believe a girl like me volunteered to hole herself up for so many interminably long months.

Lastly, things are a bit shaky on the home front but we persevere. Because we must. And because we love so deeply.

Catch you later. Wish me luck.

New Year dope

2010-01-10T04:26:00.001-08:00

As of this moment, the new year is turning out pretty okay.

Astrologers and numerologists in papers and the Kalnirnay predict that February will be a good month for me, while July onwards is a good time if my husband decides to get married. Fame, fortune, good relationships are indicated for both of us. I shall make some money in April this year, apparently. Excellent. That means my August cheque pending with Mumbai Mirror will arrive in April.

If I decide to sit for exams, I shall be moderately successful, says a numerologist. Sheh. If I have to do something, I shall be the best at it, or not do it at all. So no, I'm not appearing for any exams this year.

Those looking for property (such as me) will find something suitable in September this year. The money towards buying said property will come from the astrologer's father.

Towards October, I shall be locked in dispute with somebody I know well. Hmm. Let. Me. See. Maybe I'll wage a war against the husband for singing out of tune.

Overall, a healthy, productive year, they say. We shall see. Started out okay, so they're half right.

Nation of (student) Idiots

2010-01-04T20:51:00.000-08:00

Dear under-pressure students,

This comes by way of a heartfelt request to you stop being so thoroughly ungrateful for your lives and those of your parents and dear friends. This is also a humble request that you stop borrowing ideas on how to kill yourself from popular films, because that is just idiotic.

Four students have killed themselves in and around Mumbai in the last two days. Of these, two suicides were said to be 'inspired' by the film 3 Idiots, especially since the parents of both the deceased told the cops that both the kids had seen the film a day or two before they decided to cop it. The Shardashram school boy's father even said that his son had watched the film twice in a day and had to be restrained from continued viewing by his father, who thought the child wouldn't be able to make it through school the next day if he kept himself up all night. Sadly, the boy didn't make it through school the next day because he chose to hang himself in the school's toilet.

Yes, the education system needs a drastic revamp. Yes, your parents and teachers seem to value the #1 spot in academics than they do sports, music, literature or other creative pursuits. Yes, you feel stifled and your life is constantly on the boil. But how are these connected with the urge to commit suicide?

Suicide is largely a product of fear and a great sense of hopelessness. It is not, and hence I do not buy the theory that the film 3 Idiots is to blame, an action resulting out of an urge to copy. Sure, there have been deaths resulting from children imitating reel life stunts, but those are accidents, not suicides. To lampoon a film or a book or indeed any external influence for a rising tendency to commit suicides is immature and a cop out.

I want to ask your parents: how well did you do when you were in school? Were you the school's top ranked student? Did you make the merit list in your graduation year? And apart from academic pursuits, were you any good at anything else? Did you enroll in a zillion language classes, drawing classes, tuitions, swimming classes, boxing classes, fencing classes, tennis classes, and whatever else you push your kids into doing because you don't want them to trail behind every other kid? Are you still alive? Do you have a job? Do you make some money?

Ah, but we want our kids to go one up, you say? Sure, who wouldn't? But where are your kids going to draw that kind of intelligence, that kind of strength from? Are you able to absorb the disappointment of them not doing as brilliantly at school or college as you think they should? Then what gives you the right to expect them to learn how to shoulder your disappointment, your regret, and act like Aal izz well when you keep sniffing at them over your morning paper and mock them/ compare them to 'meritorious' ones in their classrooms? Be a good role model or keep your trap firmly shut.

Back to you, students, why else do you think 3 Idiots had a character like Chatur in it? Was Chatur an inspiring type or was he a repellant type? Why did everyone laugh when Chatur flubbed the welcome address in front of everyone? Would there be as much laughter if Rancho or Farhan or Raju did the same?

Now ask yourself this: why did you make Chatur the object of your derision? Did he strike you as someone you would love to be like? If all of you wanted to be like Rancho, why the heck do you even think about the suicide scenes for a minute more than necessary? Do you obediently eat your vegetables when your mother tells you to? Do you religiously do your homework when your teacher assigns it? Do you decide to be a good boy and not take a cell phone to school when everyone else is?

If you've answered 'no' to even one of the above, I'd want to ask just one question more: you choose to receive selective messages, and more often than not, know exactly what is useful to you and what isn't. So why delude yourself and your parents into thinking that your brains are so tiny, you need to be inspired by Shaktimaan and Roadies and 3 Idiots? Are we to conclude that you would leave your common sense behind and blindly do what unknown screen idols do, but not what known people such as parents and neighbours say?

If your parents are pushing you to get 95% after you got two per cent less, tell them to eff off. Study as much as is necessary to get whatever grades you aspire for, but don't be part of a race. Learn, don't become literate. Understand, don't just absorb like a sponge. And live, don't throw it all away for something as unworthy as marks and admissions.

Aal izz well

2010-01-03T05:21:00.000-08:00

Watching '3 Idiots' was a good idea. Not only did I get some much-needed laughs, the film's message came at the right time.

For perhaps the first time since I quit architecture to take up journalism, I understood what a wise person I REALLY is :)

No, that wasn't the first time I realised it, but it's nice to be reminded. Also, the husband completed his engineering only to start work as a journalist. I did pretty okay when I was still working, he is fabulous. And the shift wasn't easy - not to contemplate, not to execute. Imagine, I went to journalism class with a roomful of people FIVE years younger (!) than me, and it was terrible at first. The husband initially floundered because he didn't know how to write, how to structure his copies, what brevity means, what style is...and look at the boy today.

So like Ranchhoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad says, the heart is actually a coward that needs to be fooled into thinking that life is good, even when it's not. Doing so doesn't mean the problem goes away, but it reduces the fear associated with it. That's something to take away from the film, never mind the other exaggerations and OTT situations.

Aal izz well with me thus far. You?

Something to 'Paa'nder on

2009-12-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

Saw ‘Paa’ yesterday. I confess to being disappointed, not because I was expecting too much out of the film but because I did not expect so little.

Okay, I did not think the film would generate the same kind of interest around Progeria the way ‘Taare Zameen Par’ did around Dyslexia. Audience turnout was enough evidence of that. After watching the film, I understood exactly why ‘Paa’ could not and would not be classed in the same category as ‘Taare Zameen Par’.

‘Paa’ is caught up in its own compulsions. It has a sincere core but its execution is, for want of a better word, childish. Was the script sacrificed for commercial gains? What else would explain the almost tedious first half, which the director uses only to establish Amol Arte, the young Member of Parliament and the father of the unfortunate Auro, in such a manner as to make the audience forget what made them buy the ticket to this film in the first place? Balki uses up all of the first half of the film merely establishing Abhishek Bachchan’s credentials as an actor, doing little else as regards to storytelling, building up other characters and indeed, getting its own act together as regards what the message of the film really is.

Another blunder: too many sub-plots. It is all okay to develop the other side of a politician’s profile – the non-corrupt, sincerely-trying-to-help society one – but not at the expense of storytelling. Balki dwells at length on such issues as poverty, the grimy underbelly of politics, encroachment of government lands by slum dwellers, slum rehab, how the young ‘uns of the country have a lot to teach us all, single motherhood and most of all, how the media influences and shapes opinions without investigating the context of an issue. All of this, in an exercise to build up Amol Arte the Politician. Meanwhile, Auro appears in brief flashes, and so does his long-suffering mum. While I’m okay with the idea of tackling many issues at once, I’m not okay with certain biases that the director (who is also the writer of this story) inadvertently reinforces instead of dispelling through the very issues he tackles from a politician’s perspective.

Two minus points to Balki for the unwarranted media-bashing. I would expect a media personality such as Balki to successfully portray a balanced perspective on the media, and not join the circus where other storytellers (who scarcely know any better) pull out their boxing gloves on journalism in an effort to win wolf-whistles from the (largely uneducated) audience. Nishikant Kamat did it in ‘Mumbai Meri Jaan’ and in such a grossly lying fashion, I wanted to slap him. Balki would have done well to go one up and portray the truth, ie while a lot of media personalities and houses do have very corrupt elements that need to be thrashed publicly, there are a lot more journalists who are truthful, ethical and who are committed to the cause of honest journalism, no matter the cost.

Also, and this is criminal oversight, Balki does not much develop the character of Auro himself, the star of the story. Sure we get glimpses into the child’s personality, but I would credit that to superior acting and not to mature scripting. Amitabh Bachchan’s biggest victory as Auro is in making the audience forget who the actor behind the greasepaint is. Shah Rukh Khan would do well to study this character, and I’m not being sarcastic. For a man who has spent all his life literally towering over everyone else , it is no mean feat to be adorable and sharp simply as a twelve-year-old. Not once does Mr Bachchan come across as a 67-year-old playing a 12-year-old, which would have just been pathetic. I LOVED how Amitabh Bachchan invented a new personality, minus the trademark baritone, the graceful walk, the dignified expression.

Most importantly, and minus five points, the film does nothing to address Progeria. Okay, nobody wants a documentary on the subject, but how about showing us what the disease actually means for the sufferer and his family? It seems that the director forgets what he started out to show after the disclaimer on Progeria was flashed on the screen before the film began. The film only has brief moments where Auro suffers from breathlessness, collapses after exertion and even some dialogues where the child acknowledges the little life he has left. Apart from this, and when viewed in totality, the film could have had a child uniting his estranged parents under completely different circumstances – such as the child could be suffering from another disease – and I would not notice the difference.

Nope, I’m not happy. But oh, Vidya Balan, how beautiful you are! And Arundhati Naag, why do you not do more Hindi films?

Enough, already

2009-12-18T04:08:00.000-08:00

For a city bloodied enough already, a year and a few days later, one misguided youth is still bleeding the wound.

Ajmal Amar Kasab stated in court today that he had nothing to do with the 26/11 attacks. That he had been taken into custody days before the strikes. That he had no idea which rubber dinghy or which AK-57 he was supposed to have been associated with. That he had been framed and that he had actually come to India on a visa because he wanted to try his luck in Hindi films. Read the prosecution's take on the issue here.

Which would all have made for a good defence, if it had come at the start of the trial and not before.

Kasab started the year-long trial with arrogance. Then he went from being cocky to subdued, sometimes appearing uncomfortable if a particular witness not just identified him but wished for the harshest punishments possible for him. Is this an attempt to end the saga of the world's longest and most horrific terror strike on a bang of a different kind?

I'm trying to be rational about the fact that this trial, with all its witnesses and a terrorist captured ALIVE, has taken this long even to reach its summation stages. At times I feel pride in our democracy, because it gives each person a chance to have a say in the course of justice. And then a man who came with nine others to my city to kill and kill some more shows me and everyone else just why he should probably not have been tried fairly.

Today, I felt remorse about being rational.

Water trouble

2009-12-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

The ongoing water crisis in Mumbai city seems to have shaken the civic administration hard. The husband tells me, being a BMC reporter who's covered Asia's richest civic body for a long time now, that the lack of rains this year shook one big belief prevalent in the BMC's hydraulic department - that the rains shall not ditch us. Not now, not ever.

Of course, the city's water supply and distribution system is remarkable. I would confidently say that no other city in the country has an efficient supply network like ours. And besides, despite the hue and cry over thousands of taps already running dry in the metropolis (and what shall we do in the summer months, gulp!) you can't really blame the BMC for lesser water, can you?

Where the administration does falter is on letting water be provided illegally. On not keeping close tabs on thefts and leakages. On not monitoring the tanker lobby. On allowing restaurants to serve tall glasses of water, most of which is thrown away. On letting swimming pools pump in water when the rest of us are left wondering how to wash our clothes and store enough to drink and cook. And most importantly, the BMC is not penalising misuse.

Lady in the flat opposite mine washes her windows EVERY day using a jet of running water. She does not use a wet wipe, like a decent person with half an obligation to be more careful with her water usage, would. Those complaining about lesser water continue to wash their cars and plants with drinking water. Some bastards are bathing twice, even shaving twice a day. It is a statement on us as a society when we carefully watch our power consumption because we are billed on a pay-per-use mode, but our water usage does not meet the same considerations.

High time the BMC installed water meters for each house. The current rates for consumption are the same irrespective of the numbers of people residing in a house. Hence, a family of three gets billed Rs 130 per month or thereabouts for water usage and the flat above theirs, which has TEN people in it forever bathing, cooking and flushing, also get billed the same amount. I would pay that much whether I had one person in my house or 100, and that's laughable. Water meters would instantly check the gross misuse and the disgusting mentality that water is a rightfully-earned entity to waste and throw about with impunity.

Let us remove your shorts

2009-12-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

That was the tagline for a company offering electricians. It may well be the temporary motto for the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), which, if The Times, UK, is to be believed, is set to shed its uniform and its staid image. Read the report by Jeremy Page here.

This comes 84 years after the RSS' inception. It also comes because the organisation (finally and rather belatedly) is seeing the logic behind catching up with changing times, and the fact that the outfit (pun intended) comprises a largely geriatric population. That the young and the upwardly mobile were not racing to sign up with this particular fundamentalist ideology has not escaped its members' notice. The big reason behind this could be the apparel (which does not look good on ANYbody, let's not kid ourselves about that) and more importantly, because its ideas and overall working remain as mysteriously off-limits to the average person looking for inspiration in the social sphere, as ever.

Another big departure in thinking comes also from the RSS' readiness to accept married couples into its fold. I should actually have ended that last sentence with an !, so here it comes: !

The new uniforms' design should be complete by March. Are we looking at trousers now? Will the Indian flag be imprinted on the shirts? We don't know and who can say? And more importantly, will these changes cause a systemic change within the ranks, or is this 'shift' to be reported on and later forgotten?

The curious case of Daood Gilani

2009-12-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

One year after 26/11, a few weeks into the David Headley investigations, and I frankly still don't know what to make of the man.

David Headley was Daood Gilani before he turned all terroristy in 2006, also in a bid to throw investigators off track (because who would suspect an American, right?) was produced in a Chicago court and has subsequently pleaded 'Not Guilty' to all charges. for some reason, DNA thought it necessary to mention that Headley was dressed in an orange jumpsuit when he made his court appearance. The rest of the story is quite an easy read, though.

Elsewhere, an unknown gym instructor became famous for volunteering information on Headley. Vilas Warak's marriage pictures have made it not just to his family albums but to newspapers. The Bhatts - Rahul, Pooja and dial-a-quote Mahesh - posed with the happy couple wearing boring clothes and big smiles.

I am still not getting a grip, so to speak, on the man Headley. Yes, he's an LeT operative. Yeah, he's a Pakistani-American. Further, the FBI has charged him with a staggering six counts of criminal conspiracy (a seventh one should be for wearing an orange jumpsuit to court). Despite all the press since his arrest, I still don't get a clear picture of his motivations. May be because we're seeing just the one grainy image of a man with a face like an egg, but Headley does not seem very real as of this moment.

Beyond useless

2009-11-26T22:01:00.000-08:00

After all the ruckus about the Liberhan Report, just one lone voice in the media made any sense on the subject. That voice was R Jagannathan’s in the column he writes in DNA every week, and it aptly summed up all that most of us were thinking about anyway. Read his piece here.

The great thing about R Jagannathan’s writing is that it does not take a lofty, over-learned view of things. Most editors of most publication houses entrusted with the task of writing edits seem to want to show their readers how much they already know, how much they’ve already observed while you, the callous reader was looking elsewhere, and how much they still have to educate you. Jagannathan does not fall into that trap, and I have never seen his writing talk down on the reader.

Jagannathan’s premise, I am very sure, has already been echoed by a majority of the country that thinks about things seriously. Why a toothless report on an incident that happened 17 years ago with no Action Taken measures and with, frankly, hardly any substance on any matter? What is the average Indian supposed to make of a report that states what the country already knows and has seen so many photographs and video clips of? Surprise! Key figures in the BJP, Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena, Vishwa Hindu Parishad and others were involved in the demolition of the Babri Masjid. Another big revelation? The demolition was not a spontaneous act but a pre-meditated one.

Well, yawn.

Of course it wasn’t a spontaneous act. You don’t eye the Masjid sourly over your morning glass of cutting chai and say, “It’s ruining the skyline around here. Let’s pull it down.” Of course everyone of the aforementioned parties was involved; didn’t they confess with bluster and bravado after the act?

“Seventeen years of effort have yielded a mouse,” writes Jagannathan. “A close reading of the Report shows that Liberhan wasted everybody’s time and the taxpayer’s money in these 17 years. His disclosures do not add anything significant to our knowledge of what really transpired that day. He did not need 1,029 pages and Rs 8 crore to pronounce judgement on the Sangh Parivar, for the latter has never hidden its agenda from anyone.

After fulminating against all and sundry, Liberhan does not even clearly answer the central question: which specific individuals actually brought the structure down?”

A kick on the seat of the pants to Liberhan. Why I feel particularly cheated is because while this Commission was sitting on its rear end compiling notes and ordering takeaways for lunch, the country was rocked by ghastly terrorist bombings, one in the Bombay of 1993 courtesy Dawood Fucker Ibrahim. Since this demolition, and later, Godhra, the country has known no peace. So were we so far-off in expecting that some ghosts would be buried and some hard answers to an issue that accelerated the phenomenon of serial terror attacks on the country?

One more Commission required, then?

p.s.: On a tangent, but not much considering 26/11 just completed a year, 'Interval by Chacko' in Mumbai Mirror today is quite illuminating. Read here his take on portrayal of terrorists in Hindi films.

Going to seed

2009-11-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

It has been about five months since I've been out of the professional race.

My parents are unhappy about it. My husband doesn't know what to make of it. I frankly wouldn't care.

It's not easy living on a single income for two people. I have been working on and off, and am expecting just two cheques not worth anybody's time. If those come on time, and I doubt that they will, some of the rent will have been taken care of.

I've been working since college. I was lucky I chose a profession that gave me a headrush every single day - the urgency of the newsroom, the deadlines that rattled me just once, the continuous learning process. The last two years of active work were rather subdued. I worked for a paper that was based out of Mumbai and I quit under rather controversial circumstances at the peak of the economic recession. Of course, I secured a job that paid much more than the earlier one before I quit, and that was my last professional achievement before I called it a day in May this year.

Now I manage the home. People who know me don't think that's such a good idea. Sometimes I don't think so too. Sometimes I file a story and make myself some chai in leiu of encouragement. Then I go back to doing the dishes and mopping the floors and cooking dinner. I don't think I debase myself by tending to the home.

My only crime, as far as I can see, is to leave the husband to look after the cash inflow. It's a big crime, in this day and age, and I feel like a cow.

Oh, sweet love...

2009-11-04T09:22:00.000-08:00

It's not like you have to carry the thought in your head consciously...every time it knocks you over when you're least expecting it, that's what makes it special.

The one thing I excel at is falling asleep. But wait, that's just half the story - I really excel at not just suddenly falling asleep but staying asleep no matter what. I swear I would have slept through all the screaming and woken up only when the tsunami smartly slapped me on the face. Point is, NOTHING wakes me up. So conceive my emotion two nights ago when, after I supposedly stirred in my sleep and bumped into the husband, he sleepily started patting my head. That woke me up promptly.

When I pat his head in similar fashion, he instantly curls up into me and sleeps like a baby.

It's the goofy grin he gives me when he's trying hard to open his eyes every morning (on the rare mornings that I'm up before him). It's the way he'll always be the first to apologise, thus making me feel (and look) like a child. It's the way he'll spring awake, compulsively saying sorry if he kicks me in his sleep. It's...oh, so many things...like having a warm blanket that works best only for you.

So even though he's always late and never around till the rest of the world goes to bed and I'm pottering about heating dinner, he's argumentative and refuses to see reason on certain topics, I still welcome him with a grin when he comes home every night. The boy is mine...

Respond, already

2009-09-25T03:34:00.000-07:00

Sending out an email requesting an appointment on Monday and not getting a reply till Friday, is just mad. Like being laid out in the OT for a month and everyone else coming in after you gets their surgeries and leaves.

*PHOOOEEEEYYY*

I is writing

2009-09-22T02:10:00.000-07:00

The story of Devrat is taking shape, slowly. Wish me luck and don't disturb me.

Also, if anyone is up for making chai for me thrice a day, you're hired.

Why I must blog more often

2009-09-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

Because it gets me in the mood for writing something better later on.

Because my blog does not judge or make 'Tsk tsk' sounds on the rare occasions that I confess something staggering.

Because it does not tell me to shut the fuck up after a while, like people do.

Because it does not sulk if I haven't blogged for a while.

Because I only have to remember such basic details as username and password when logging in. No hassles about forgetting birthdays and anniversaries and such.

Because it lets others benefit from my pearls of wisdom.

Because I can change its appearance whenever I want to and it doesn't accuse me of not accepting it the way it is.

Because it is generally accepted that a blog, however public, is actually the blogger's private space.

Because I've been blogging for a while now, and it really, REALLY helps me unwind. Now for some writing.

HATE how expensive this city is

2009-09-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, nobody asked me to live here and all that, but sometimes the greatest city in the world is just too pricey for its own good.

I mean, come on. At a decent income, all you can hope for if you're looking to buy a house, is to save like magpies for about three years and then take a home loan. The money you save will help cut down on some of the amount you will have to raise through private sources (which your bank needs to know about, to appease their gossipy selves). Once your home loan is cleared, through a uniquely-designed obstacle race involving signatures on character certificates and salary slips from bosses, Form 16 duplicates from the time you were born, letters from the building you wish to purchase a house in, and many other entertaining channels of paperwork, you have to borrow money from friends to tide over the amount that the bank will not loan you, the fucking fucker.

And once you start repaying all the money, you realise that you are tied up for the next twenty years at least, apart from paying off testy friends and relations you borrowed money from. At the end of the first week since you get your salary, you are left with about a fraction of your husband's salary. We are going to stop eating lunch and we shall cadge invitations to dinner from the people we did not borrow money from. My mother can supply the groceries.

And all of this, for a house that is as big as a broom closet or, if you get a roomier accomodation, as big as a fair-sized bathroom with separate shower space. Into this you squeeze your two selves, furniture, bed, cupboard, pots and pans and several other items characterising domesticity.

So you decide to go for a rented place, and though that works out better because it is sort of affordable, you get grey hairs thinking of all the money you're paying via rent and which you will never see again unless you loot a bank. Since I don't know the first thing about looting a bank, I will never see the rent money we've paid this year.

What is all this in aid of? All we wanted was to live decently on a decent income in a house we were prepared to slave for and cherish and leave behind for our kids. Instead, we're running around shouting "Fuck! FUCK!" because the lease on our current house expires in two months and we have no other option but to throw away more money on another rented apartment, in the hope that two years later we will have our own home to leave behind for our kids (which we can have only after we have a house, humph).

Money flows like water in this city. It's not fair, it's not reasonable for a person who only has a legitimate job as his source of income.

Housewife from Hell - Part II

2009-09-19T00:26:00.000-07:00

She continues with the chronicle after a gap of two days. Even the story of her own life bores her.

Today her husband has his weekly off from work. So the two of them will laze about and order lunch. They'll go for walks in the evening, or possibly a movie. He's fun when he's relaxed.

She needs his help with some research she's doing. So maybe they could do that after lunch, instead of busting their eyeballs watching silly movies.

If she wants, she can tell him to make her chai, and he'll do it gladly. He makes good tea. Besides, she generally goes for a second cup an hour after the first.

Today she woke up at 11.30 a.m. As always, he didn't wake her up, quietly answering doors and reading the papers till she stumbled out of bed on her own.

There are too many newspapers to read this morning, all of them quite bleeaarrgghh.

Also, she has finished reading 'Rebecca' for the fifth time.

Now, if only she could rewrite some parts of her own story. Too much rest and not much to do are making her weak.

Housewife from Hell - Part I

2009-09-17T04:30:00.000-07:00

She wakes up after her husband, makes him his tea and breakfast, waves goodbye when he leaves for work, and makes instant noodles for her lunch.

The moment her tummy's even half full, her eyes begin to close. So it's time for a short nap spanning two hours.

After which she wakes up, makes her second cup of chai for the day, starts writing. There is, as yet, no method to the madness she is writing down, but she persists.

Evening is time for household chores, post seven thirty p.m. Sabzi to be made, rotis to be rolled, sometimes a glass of buttermilk to set aside for him. Then she oils her hair and washes it an hour later.

He never comes home before 11 pm, so she has a lot of time to think and set the house in order. Sometimes she cleans up, other times she thinks.

At times a friend may call, informing her of a job opportunity somewhere. She promises to send her CV and forgets the conversation five seconds later. When she remembers it again, she doesn't send the CV.

All day, she plugs music in her ears to keep out the thoughts. The thoughts don't always go away.

What happens when you have no job, no motivation to look for another one and a bagful of fear of what will be? You get me.

World of deceit

2009-09-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

The introvert can go through an entire day hiding what she's feeling and nobody will ever know.

The woman who miscarried will cry softly into her pillow for two months, and her husband will think she has puffy eyes because of her medication.

The man with the expensive car and the big house in your part of town is facing bankruptcy and has sold everything except the car and the house.

The girl who smiles at everything goes home and cries alone every night.

The bored housewife bores herself further by watching mindless TV programmes and gossiping with the neighbours.

The top scorer in class pulls his shirt carefully over his pants to hide the welts his father gave him in last night's whipping.

The unfriendly grocer who has never smiled in the ten years you've shopped at his store goes home and plays energetically with his mentally-challenged son.

The business tycoon colours his hair to hide the cascade of grey over black.

The old madwoman on the street corner who shakes her fist at every urchin smiles beautifully if you offer her money.

The writer of this blog will promise to start working in the next two minutes and head straight to bed.

I is back.

2009-08-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

You thought you'd keep me away from my blog for long? Huh!

I spent an entire evening wallowing like a buffalo in waves of self pity. Then I made a fabulous dinner and the husband smiled at me and I felt happy again.

The next day I was back at work and telling myself not to waste another evening like that. Because that is just stupid and imagine how much work I would have got done instead of watching television like a retard.

So anyway, I is back. And working again. :P to moping around.

Crash and learn

2009-08-17T06:47:00.001-07:00

Cannot describe the pain and the shock of having something you created thrown back in your face because it was no good.

Not going to talk for a while now. Major rethink about life and chosen route coming up.

Huh!

2009-08-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

These days, I'm counting the days of the week as per the husband's weekly off.

These days I'm beginning to think I've outsmarted my sleep deficit.

These days I'm writing a lot and reading much more. That makes me really happy.

These days I'm nursing a husband who's a bit unwell.

These days I'm not cooking too much. That's not good.

These days I've started checking my e-mail thrice a day. I used to do it once in two days.

These days I'm not going anywhere and there are accusations of me trying to be exclusive and all. Whatever.

These days I try and be patient but man, it's hard.

These days I try to be more useful but that's harder than anything else.

These days I find I've blanked out most of this year from my head. That way, I'm a bit fuzzy on details but at least I'm less grumpy.

Me Ice Maiden. You?

2009-08-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

The husband has been bugging the life out of me since Friday. Absolutely. He's been badgering me about how ill he feels (in direct proportion to how ill the rest of the city and Pune are with the swine flu yadda yadda) and how there is a strange pain that seems to be on a stroll on his insides. "First it goes up my right leg," the husband shows, pointing to the offending appendage, as if I confused it with an ear or something. "Then it comes to my tummy. Then it goes down my other leg."

I preserved my calm and ranted only once to nobody in particular. Didn't even lock him in the loo, honest. Am a good girl and a great wife.

Then this morning he wakes up flushed and looking a bit ill and sneezing all over the place like nobody's business. He tells me he was briefly up at 4 am because he couldn't breathe, then quickly said it was probably the mosquito coil on seeing the look on my face. After the sneezes, he said his throat was all tickly (dude, if it tickles, laugh.) and that he felt a fever coming on. And for the first time in my life I stopped being the skeptic and decided to get him some medication.

Mind you, I could have gone "Fuck! FUCK!" with the thought that the swine flu was in my house. But no. I is Ice Maiden.

So we got ayurvedic medicines for both of us, took our doses twice a day as prescribed and he's back to being a bouncing baby. As for me, I cleaned out the house thoroughly and disinfected it and am just resting my butt after an evening of making the home germ-free.

So what did you do all day?

HeeheeheeHEE!

2009-08-05T07:17:00.003-07:00

I have looked at the e-mail for fifteen whole minutes just to gloat.

Even if nothing transpires, at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I sparked off some interest. Now if only I hadn't been so hasty about the other matter.

Hmm. (goes back to gloating over e-mail.)

Detached at last

2009-08-04T03:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I come out from writing and am amazed at another world going on out there, without me. Sometimes I catch up, other times I simply let the world go on.

There is nothing more important than losing oneself in work. There is nothing more fulfilling. Nothing more lonely.

And yet, I chose this life. I chose to stay away. And I will. Just until the world starts moving again and I decide to catch up.

THIS is why I drift

2009-05-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

After a long, really long time, I did a story that made me think and learn.

I knew something like sperm banks exist, somewhere in the world and that men go there to give 'samples' in plastic containers that are coded and tagged and the man goes out with money in his pocket. I'd also heard that to aid ejaculation, the clinic in question supplies donors and depositors with dirty magazines or lets them watch porn and hangs pictures of nude women on the walls.

What I didn't know was that beneath the seeming flippancy of it all, sperm collection and preservation is a tricky business. Dilip Patil is doing it well at Mulund, and he says he gets about 8 to 10 donors every day. That's a big number for any city in India, not just Mumbai. And is the remuneration the only reason? Not so, says Patil. "For a collegian, yes, Rs 500 per sample is good enough to watch a movie and have a pizza. But we have the vice president of a shipping company who is an approved donor with us, and surely the money is not an incentive for him."

Patil says that most come with the idea of helping an unknown couple, somewhere in the city or beyond, conceive using their sperms after hopeful trying and medicine fails. "It gives them a real kick to know that their sample will help somebody have a child," says Patil, adding that he discourages those looking only for money. "If you're not dedicated to donating for a good cause regularly, we don't want you on board," is Patil's reasoning.

8 to 10 every day? That's great. That's very good. Know more here.

Left and Right for the Centre

2009-05-05T22:15:00.001-07:00

Don't know about you, but it seems to me that the Congress doesn't much fancy its own chances this election.

Either that, or the party is looking to dent the Opposition's morale by dropping hints of getting the BJP-led NDA's allies on board. So Rahul Gandhi says "there is a possibility" of getting the JD(U) on board, though Nitish Kumar has thwarted any such overtures with a curt "No thanks." A third possibility is that the Congress can see a near-rout or a close call happening, so being assured of more people joining the party (I mean that figuratively) will make it easier to calculate post-poll equations.

Political analysts say that low voter turnouts in three phases of voting conducted in the country thus far may actually go against the Congress' wishes. Either that, or the Congress will romp home with a majority vote (which would not be such a bad thing; when was the last time we had a majority government?). In Maharashtra, the Shiv Sena-BJP combine is already telling itself that they're getting more seats than their Opposition, and people in the know tend to agree. Yet, this is Indian politics and though it is a game of numbers, it is not pure math.

Rahul is doing well to announce that his party is keeping its options open. That is actually a way to keep your detractors both wondering and working harder still. It also lets fringe players know they have a space to go to after the polls. What I want to know is how the Congress hopes to quickly sew together new alliances in such a small space of time when its old ones crumbled and crashed without the party having even the slightest hint of the state of affairs to come. For all its Grand Old Party yadda yadda, you'd think the Congress was smarter than that.

My middle finger to your apathy

2009-05-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

I would ordinarily be thrilled to be proved right this soon and in such a spectacular manner, but this is the election we're talking about and my being right doesn't change one basic fact - the Indian voter SUCKS.

My earlier post reminded you that for all the online activism, we were about to witness a 'traditional' election - with all its pre-poll bribing, booth capturing, small queues in the affluent areas of Mumbai and long queues in the slums, et al. Unfortunately, and this is new for me, I was bang on target when I said that NO PART of your Jaago Res and Vote Indias would really work.

Testimony to this statement are some headlines from across the nation and the world: DNA says that 57% did not come out to vote in Mumbai, the Khaleej Times tells you that 30 villages in Gujarat gave the polls a mass boycott, and Bloomberg blames the heat wave on low voter turnout.

Would it surprise you to know that Mumbai's slums, which form the bulk of the vote for any election, actually voted lesser this time and that compared to other times, more voters came to polling booths from the city's buildings? This is an interesting phenomenon, considering that the actual picture is always the other way around. Does this mean that our politics has finally disenchanted the enthusiastic slum voter?

That is not to say that the middle classes of the country are enchanted by politics. Anywhere in the country in the first three phases of polling, voter turnouts have not exceeded 47 per cent. Democracy, anyone?

Is it just me or does anybody else realise that as a country, we are disenchanted with our politics because we are disconnected with it? Why does anybody, leave alone a host of civic activism campaigns and multimedia advertisements, need to exhort the average Indian to get out there and vote? Why did some educated people not know when Mumbai went to the polls a full 24 hours before polling began? Of what use was a sustained media effort to cover the elections two months in advance, if post-poll headlines would only talk about mass boycotts and heat waves?

Let's not blame the weather or disillusionment for low turnouts. And let's not get off so easily by using fancy terms like 'voter apathy'. To be apathetic, you must know what you're apathetic about. Not voting because you didn't know who to vote for says not as much about your candidates as it does about your own ignorance. We know everything about the Big B in America and his dog Bo, but we don't even know which party Sanjay Nirupam belongs to and have no compunctions in asking who the heck is Nitin Gadkari.

Your indifference has made this country what it is today. And don't let me hear you complain when you go down with it.

What are we paying them for?

2009-04-23T02:27:00.000-07:00

The Election Commission of India (ECI) has got to be the most useless body functioning this election. It does not verify candidates' affidavits, sits pretty doing nothing when lapses in affidavits are pointed out, gives idiotic responses like "the EC is not empowered to take legal action" (against said wrong affidavits) and is not legally entrusted with a single tool to take action against erring politicians.

In short, all it is empowered to do, is issue notices, thereby adding to the pile of junk paperwork that is churned out in this country daily. Much like a mother 'admonishing' her child with, "Please don't do that again," when said child has murdered a classmate and set fire to his house, thereby slaying the entire family.

What's more, the EC is shameless enough to admit that it has no statutory powers to do anything. What a bunch of self-important jokers these guys must be.

I spoke with R Ramakrishna, the BJP's media contact for their election cell; he has written to the EC asking for action against Lalu Prasad. Even he knows the EC will sit on its ass and do no more than - what else? - pass a stricture. "Any time you write to the EC, it amounts to a mere registering of protest over a matter. You are certain that the EC will do nothing about it and the case will die there. If you want anything to happen, you have to go through your own PR channels and tap the media to highlight the issue.

Useless, that's what the EC is. Oh, but it does remember to take suo moto cognisance of certain people like Varun Gandhi. That is fair, but what after issuing a notice? How shameful that the EC has no right to 'suggest' that a candidate like Varun Gandhi should not be a candidate in the first place. Since it cannot offer suggestions to parties, parties can pretty much do what they want and tell the EC to go to hell. Which they do.

This is why the BJP went to the EC against Lalu. Not that it matters. Because the EC is useless, anyway.

Cease. Desist. We're Indians.

2009-04-16T01:43:00.000-07:00

Look, I don't care what anyone thinks but logic and past experience (as also some touch with ground realities) tells me that we're not about to have a tech-elected government by a wide stretch. Not this year, or in 2014 or whenever.

The basic contention backing the use of internet and a bevy of social networking sites was to rope the youth in, right? Okay, that's good thinking, but then what? I can bet you my last 50-paise coin (that I am saving for a year now, don't ask why) that despite getting the youth's attention and all that jazz, your internet blitzkreig STILL will not guarantee youth presence at the polls. Oh, if these elections were conducted online, yeah, you'd have the kind of unprecedented voting percentage that would stagger the economy. A lot of the youth that do go and vote, are the ones whose families have been voting for a long time now.

See, that's where the connect actually lies. If I had the kind of dumbass family (and there are many of those) that never discussed politics and kept any dinner table conversations restricted to who did what in the family and neighbourhood and only spoke to each other when either fighting or asking for money, I wouldn't vote either. If my parents hadn't been voting for ages and drilled it into my stupid head that voting was really an obligation, not a favour you were doing to the country, I wouldn't vote.

A lot of people don't vote. They're watching the Jay Ho vs Bhay Ho charades on TV while they watch their daily soaps, but those ads don't influence them to get our and cast their vote. They're reading the coverage every day, noting what their MP hopeful is promising them. While some of them still have some fundamental queries ("Who is my MP? Which party?"), there are others who seemingly know it all and STILL don't vote.

It's no use drawing parallels between the US Presidential Elections and our general elections. Next thing we'll be comparing Barack Obama and Manmohan Singh. Hoping for an internet revolution for our polls is not just unrealistic, it's stupid. The power of the internet to spur people on to action is either grossly overestimated or largely untapped yet.

And pray, why do you want the internet to make a difference for you? Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the heat and dust of election rallies, the getting your head blasted apart by blaring loudspeakers, the crowds that gather every time there's a rally, the cheers that a bold statement draws. That is where the real flavour of Indian elections lies - and what are we, if not a colourful, emotional, in-your-face race of people?

Despite unleashing a relentless media campaign on us, the BJP is still doing its rallies and sabhas. What's more, watching a Narendra Modi rally or an L K Advani one on TV is sure to make a bigger difference to your thinking that reading what they said the next day. As humans, we need the visual element for a connection. Sure, the internet is a visual medium. But can we really call it an engaging one in the context of elections?

Revenge of the Surds

2009-04-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

You have to have a deep hatred for a person to wish the most painful death on him. Karamjit Singh tried to kill then Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi in 1986 because, like other Sikhs in the country, he too considered Indira Gandhi, and later her older son, to be responsible for the sectarian violence that tore many Sikh families apart.

When I spoke to him last week, Singh was in the process of filing his nomination papers from Patiala. The man is contesting the seat as an independent and has just one aim in life - to defeat the Congress and the "conniving" Shiromani Akali Dal. He is now a lawyer practising in the district court; he is making every effort to wipe out the 'criminal' tag attached to his name.

When I asked him how he felt when he heard about Rajiv's assassination in 1991 (Singh was still in jail at the time), he promptly replied, "I just felt sorry that I had not been able to kill him." He didn't sound bitter about it, but his matter-of-fact tone chilled me. "Aisa hota hai na, aap jaisa karte ho, waisa bharte ho. These people have the blood of so many of my Sikh brothers and sisters on their hands. Inka anth aisa hi hona tha."

He went on to add that his biggest regret in life was not that he attempted the assassination at Rajghat all those years ago, but that he botched it up. "Never mind that now. What is past is past. But we have not forgotten the atrocities the Congress inflicted on us. We will never forget it, we will never allow our children to forget it. But now bullets will not work. We have to use our democracy in the best way we can," Singh said.

Many constraints prevented us from printing the interview, especially the bits about Rajiv, verbatim. What we did print is here.

Chalo Orissa

2009-04-08T03:12:00.000-07:00

The BJP is focussing on Orissa at the moment, and Narendra Modi's life isn't getting any easier with all the air-dashing here, there and all over the place. I mean, five rallies in Orissa in ONE day and the man has to fly back to Hyderabad. From there, he makes a trip to Delhi. From there, to Orissa again. And all the while, talking about how grand the BJP really is and crossing his fingers behind his back.

Sometimes, being a star campaigner for your party has got to suck.

In other news, Arun Gawli has finally dropped out of the race and will now support Milind Deora's candidature. Wonder how much somebody paid him to get out of the way? :-O

Also, the BSP's Vilas Garud says that his party denied Gawli a seat because all other major parties in Maharashtra had done so, and why should the BSP give tickets to criminals? Why, indeed.

Worst birthday so far

2009-04-02T03:11:00.000-07:00

Nothing, nothing so far has been good about turning 30.

I mean, come on you lunkheads, I'm 30! It's a great milestone for me, because I have got so far purely on the basis of a bad temper and some smatterings of talent (for not falling down and breaking my neck or getting stuck in a building on fire).

Golu is out of town. Dad and Mum didn't drop by to wish me; they would have but I forbade it on grounds of good manners, then felt that I should have told them to come because this is my first birthday away from them. Sriram chatted with me only to tell me two pathetic sardar jokes.

Precisely 10 people have wished me since this morning. Which is great, because "Hi, Happy Birthday! So,what plans today? What, working even on your birthday?" conversations are okay till like, the second caller is done. The last straw was when Prash invited me out for lunch and the two of us waded through pizzas and garlic bread and spoke about all kinds of junk, but not once did he wish me because HE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY.

Okay, I didn't ask for a custom-made happy birthday-singing committee because you know I hate having attention drawn to me. But come on, people, blatantly forgetting my birthday is rotten manners. Prash and everyone else who forgot, no birthday present for you this year, whenever your birthdays are. (When is Prash's birthday, I wonder...)

Am now pinning my hopes on the hubby (who did wish me) to come home a bit early so that we can at least make an effort to go out and eat.

Never thought I would have to hope for THIS much when I turned 30.

We owe you several, Varun

2009-03-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

The hate speech notwithstanding, Varun Gandhi sure has given us media guys a full week of stories to do. There's something happening every day, which is good. Much better than running around all over town looking for stories or staring blankly at your computer screen, wondering what to file.

It's hot and as election day approaches, the campaigning and mudslinging will reach fever pitch.Like always, we're going to wonder how to go through it all without fizzling out, then not notice that we worked our asses off and didn't even notice that the craziness was over.

Meanwhile, take a look at this. And this.

Maya Memsaab

2009-03-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

However repulsive the idea (and to many, it is), one can't deny that some day, this great country will have a dalit prime minister in Mayawati. That she is unabashed about hoarding her millions while her party workers continue to work penniless but with passion is a story for another day. What needs to be seen, apart from the short hairdo and the gaudy salwar kameez suits that Mayawati sports, is that she has political acumen enough for 10 politicians.

You might argue that she banks on and ruthlessly milks the sizeable dalit vote in her home state and the country and does not hesitate to cut other dalit parties to size if she sees the chance of capturing a brief moment of power. That's a story for another day, too. What does matter, is that since 1991, only Maya behenji has had the balls to lead her party to a majority win anywhere in the country, while the rest of them suckers keep squabbling within their coalitions.

To get the power and to keep it there takes loads of planning and plenty of intelligence, and Maya does both well. That's not to say that her sitting in the PM's chair will benefit the country in any way. But with the Third Front gaining strength slowly, at least to a level where it can influence final decisions once voting is over, Maya is in a position to usurp the chair and like everything else she's done so far, her planning will be bang on target.

This is how she does it.

Band, oh bust!

2009-03-19T01:53:00.000-07:00

A friend of ours (ours= Meghana and me) who works in radio in Mumbai is forming a band for some kind of instrumental fusion. They're scouting for names, but they've narrowed it down to two choices, of which I liked precisely none. Megs and I had this conversation while he was polling opinions from both of us at the same time:

vrushali: sriram asking me: filter coffee? or limited edition? which one do u like?

do u think i should suggest 'bugs and roaches'?

Meghana: i already told him we suggest bugs and roaches :P

vrushali: hahahahaa

Meghana: :D

vrushali: if they havent adopted it yet, it means they have no sense of humour

in which case, i refuse to associate myself with this band

why not masala chai?

or limited intelligence?

Meghana: lol

hhahahaha the latter is nice

suggestthat

vrushali: i will

wait

Meghana: lol cool

vrushali: he says: yeah right

i thought it was pretty cool myself

Meghana: :P

yeah i know

vrushali: lebbe...when i form a band, that's what i

will call it

Meghana: ok...

who'll be in the band?

vrushali: u will be there, obviously...ur the star member

prash

sandy

golu

that's it

Meghana: lol

we'll sing 'oh sawariya'

vrushali: five ppl enough...or the band will break up citing 'irreconciliable differences'

what is oh sawariya?

Meghana: arre...the kishore kumar song idiot...

aake seedhi lagi

vrushali: that song is called 'aake seedhi lagi'...

dont confuse ur lead singer

Meghana: lol

vrushali: yeah, that would actually be a cool opening number for our concerts

at andheri sports complex

Meghana: yeah i know!

and then i'll do the snort laugh from the wings..so that ppl wonder whats happenign

vrushali: ok

whatever u want

just keep the audience entertained

anyway they won't be too bright...fans of limited intelligence

Meghana: lol

i can't stop laughing...limited intelligence

vrushali: :D

Meghana: it's a nice nick name for you actually

vrushali: yeah, sure. and wht's urs?

sriram will have to do with bugs and roaches

as in, as the name of his band

not saying that that species will be his main audience

Meghana: lol

i'm sure they'll run away

the bugs and roaches i mean

vrushali: yeah

hey, they can call themselves the Exterminators

the E.T.s

how cool is zat?

Meghana: yeah, nice

vrushali: lebbe, he wont see the point of this one either

i think radio makes u dumber

Meghana: we should sound it off

thsi is what i'm telling him

name the band bugs and roaches...
They might not be your target audience...they'll run away maybe..and then you'll can call yourselves the Exterminators :D

vrushali: u can't have two band names...

hw abt bandwidth?

band baaja?

band aid?

contraband?

Meghana: they'll disband to resurrect themselves as the exterminators..

vrushali: chup re

Meghana: and then probably become like the Undertaker

vrushali: even Undertakers is good

Meghana: lol

vrushali: sheh, with so many good names, they pick out the lousiest ones

Meghana: lol

vrushali: he says band baaja is another project...how could they just plagiarise and not credit me?

Meghana: lol

vrushali: after this, they should call themselves Unethical Fusion Crap

hmph

Meghana: lol

vrushali: Plagiarists is also good

Meghana: oh shut up

no, this one i don't agree

vrushali: Oh Shut Up is actually good

"Guess who's in town to entertain you guys?"

audience replies, "Oh Shut UP!"

even DisBand is great

also a hint to themselves

Sent at 2:15 PM on Thursday

Meghana: lol

vrushali: :D

Wassup, doc?

2009-03-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

There are significant aches and pains associated with working on a politics portal every day. I need some comic relief. That's why I actually stuck around at the earlier job for so long - they let me do what I want after I had done the routine stuff.

In other news, yours truly has now started holding forth on Hindutva and poll strategising and other what-have-yous. I swear my mum is going to laugh if she sees my stories. So will most others who know what a dufus I really am. But till such time that I begin to get some investigative leads in politics, the tittle-tattle on who's doing what and (this is our opinion on) why will have to do.

The initial buzz is positive. Get me some traffic, you.

Check out my take on the Congress campaign strategy here. Tell me what you think.

Everyone's talking...

2009-03-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

Right now, every politician, wherever he may be, is ready to talk if you call (on) him.

If they don't, it means they're either really snooty or really important. Don't expect Sonia or Rahul Gandhi to grant you an interview right now, unless you're CNN or BBC or somebody equally firang. Even Mayawati and Modi will not take your calls right now. But the ones below them certainly will, and they do.

I went to the BSP office in Mumbai the other day with Mamta, and the guy manning the office was as thrilled as dammit to see any visitors; naturally he was tickled pink to know that both of us were journos looking for information and that we were actually asking him questions. After holding forth on the party and how it does things, he actually invited Mamta and me to join the BSP. "You work as journalists because you want a career, right"? he smirked. "This is also a career. Just stand for the elections, we'll help you win."

I mean, really. Go looking for a snippet and you get the entire story book plus the offer to become a Member of Parliament.

The other day I met a senior BJP leader who reduced the Shiv Sena to worse than dust once he was done criticising them. "Sharad Pawar has, customary to his style, ditched the party that was willing to help him. But these (Sainiks) don't get it. Uddhav is being advised by all the wrong people. Trusting Sharad Pawar would be the last thing Balasaheb would do, but nobody's listening to him, despite whatever the Sena may say."

And then there was the BJP party worker representing the Matang community, whose various causes Gopinath Munde espouses (at least, he started espousing them about two months ago). I was passing Azad Maidan and heard the usual shouts of "Vijay aso! Hum tumhare saath hain!" Walking in, I almost head-butted a guy who came charging at me from the opposite direction. "Media? Media?" he asked. I nodded. He handed me a bunch of papers, saying "Press release. Press release." After I'd given him my visiting card, he launched into a marketer's spiel about how the community was being harassed and how Munde would show them all. For over 10 minutes.

You meet all the different types during election time. All want to be heard. Most have nothing to say.

Livewire

2009-03-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

We have gone live, yay! This suddenly feels like it's my own project (which it is), but boss uncle specifically asked me to "own it" so now you guys can watch me go!

In a more sober vein, though, the job ahead is immensely tough because the action hasn't even started yet but we sure are swamped with work. Some little niggles here and there do exist on the site but we are so ready for a formal announcement and launch. But because I can't tell any of you about it yet, I feel like a women who has a pregnancy to announce but can't tell anyone yet because she's been warned to break the news only when the baby goes live.

Anyway, we're getting our stories ready and I'm starting to nag the concerned ones to finish ironing out the problems in the site, for chrissakes. Being in control is scary and weird at the same time; I've never been in charge of a daily product and never at this level or on a permanent basis. At my previous job, I was proxy Chief of Bureau but that was because my senior was a delicate darling with a family of delicate darlings who all fell ill several times a month.

I'm going to make tonnes of mistakes, and the worst part is, I can only blame myself. Sometimes, that's the worst kind of job. But compared to the crap that's happening to so many others in the city, all I can do is be thankful and kiss the ground beneath my feet for sturdily being there even when I was shaky.

In the jungle...

2009-03-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

Since the site is not live yet, my stories are getting dated. And everyone knows that nothing gets your goat more than knowing that your stories are getting dated, through no fault of your own.

I am revising my own stories so that I can salvage some of them. It seems like I've been revising stories since I was a baby. The office is quiet today, which is great. At last count, I have about 15 stories just waiting to be unleashed but the poor things have nowhere to go.

We hopefully go live next week, probably Monday. Let's see how that goes. Hmph.

Nowhere in particular...

2009-02-24T03:17:00.000-08:00

- My entire life is upside down right now.
- Some days I'm okay with it, other days, just plain depressed.
- There is some truth to the rumour that God makes you do the things you're least comfortable with. Probably there's a lesson in there somewhere, but the only thing I've learnt so far is that God hates me quite a bit.
- I have HAD it with Indians throwing American accents. HAD IT. It's fake and obnoxious and gosh-darned patronising, so STOPPIT!
- Every person needs a bit of attention. Some recognition for past successes would also be nice.
- There's a learning curve to every job that initially goes around your neck and throttles you.
- Every person is guilty of one or more of the following: a) Smoking. b) Drinking c) Consuming aerated drinks d) Doing drugs e) Doing fake accents.
- Happily, I have done none of the above. I realise this qualifies me as a dork in most people's eyes, but most people are dorks.
- Losing your temper at the right time and in severe doses can scare the pants off people.
- No amount of money is ever enough. Not hankering after it can help a bit, though.
- I have not clicked a single picture in two months. I am a slap on the face of amateur photography.
- I don't even know where my camera charger is.
- I have alternating cycles of feeling really confident and feeling like I'm sitting on the kind of volcano that will go off and kill only me.
- Also it will burn my ass, but let's not get into that.
- I am a decent cook. The husband is still alive and actually looking nice.
- The web is a decent medium if you don't screw it up. So don't. I won't either.
- This post ends here because it was going nowhere in particular in the first place.

Bring on the crazy

2009-02-23T01:17:00.000-08:00

I'm going slowly crazy with the amount of work being done and the amount of work still to be done. And we haven't even launched yet.

And hey, I didn't share my first copy on Indipepal with you guys. Check it here.

The timings are going from erratic to bizarre, but I keep telling myself it's only for a few months. Once the general elections are done, there should be some breathing space before the assembly elections come around. And those won't be this hectic.

In other news, I am now a very quick cook. You could actually take some pointers from me on organising and putting together breakfast for the hubby, lunch for me, lunch for hubby, doing the dishes and sometimes even kneading dough for dinner. My home life is completely in a mess, though. Bloody elections!

Wish me luck with the launch and the work.

Yikes!

2009-02-15T22:51:00.000-08:00

Boss uncle announced this morning that the portal will probably be launched this week. YIKES!!

I have no dynamic content. I am nowhere close to having dynamic content. I won't have dynamic content this soon. Somebody, help me!

*takes a sedative and crashes*

Two years ago

2009-02-06T03:59:00.000-08:00

I just settled the chaiwallah's bill. As usual, I suspect he ripped me off but I said nothing, since this is the last time he will rip me off. In a few hours from now, I'll pick up the bag containing the encyclopaedia I bought last year but hadn't taken home because it is so heavy. I'll cast a last look at my workstation, hand over the locker and cupboard keys to the office boy and head out into the great world to start a career afresh.

It's strange how every time I change a job, it seems like I'm starting all over again. This time I actually am. This morning, Jaan hugged me and said that just like I had a good time at Sakaal and I would have a good time at the new place too. Trust him to always look on the bright side. I hope he's right.

All through this month, my fury at how wrong things were going and why I was made a part of it through no encouragement at my side blinded me to how much I would eventually say goodbye to. My small and inconspicuous work terminal with the nicest keyboard in the office and the one computer that has not yet crashed will probably be topmost on my 'What I will miss the most' list. Add to that the wobbly chair and the fact that one gets as much privacy and peace here to work as a railway station.

I've already emptied my drawer and locker. Nothing here now belongs to Vrushali Lad, and within a few days, someone else may take my place. The uprooting seems sudden and will be mildly traumatic. But one must now outstay one's visit, and in this industry, nothing is really forever, except the associations you make.

See you on the other side.

New high jump

2009-02-05T04:39:00.001-08:00

There's nothing better than a swift kick in the balls to a detractor who fancies himself your equal (or superior) simply because he happens to be a fossil in the industry and you're not.

A few arseholes messed with me and must now be looking like the silliest fools in existence. I have a great new job in an exciting new medium and with no fuss or worries in return. These other idiots, to not put too fine a point on it, may be facing salary cuts, job cuts and goodness knows what else, while I can frankly say I had a lucky escape in time.

I will now be working with a portal called Indipepal.com and hope to do okay there, if not spectacularly well. You can't go too wrong if your motto is, "How difficult can it be?" At the most, I'll take a week longer to learn than others do. At this point in time, saturated to the eyeballs with mediocre stories and not wanting to get out of bed to come to this crappy office, I really have a good deal on my hands.

It's going to be a bit like going back to journalism college because I'll have a lot of studying and researching to do, but everyone knows that's the part I love best.

See you'll after I settle into the new place. Wish me luck.

Like dogs and cats

2009-01-25T02:32:00.001-08:00

The thing about Slumdog Millionaire that gripped me the most was that it was a good, long look at life below stairs. I mean, how much does a multiplex-frequenting, popcorn-chewing crowd know about toilet etiquette in the slums, or why slum kids are sharper than their English school-educated counterparts, at any age?

I didn't really agree with some parts, though. Till the end, I was a bit fuzzy about how Jamal does get into the game show, or why the riots needed to be shown in a stereotypical manner, when the rest of the film is anything but stereotypical. Yeah, it's a throwback to the 80's Bollywood with its flashes of idol worship ("Amitabhbachchan!") and you kind of guess what Maman must have done to Latika as she falls behind the moving train and can't get on fast enough. Yet, it's the kind of dizzying look at a world within the urban world of Mumbai city (and elsewhere) and which is, in fact, a bigger world than most of us realise.

How fitting that Sandy and I actually walked a short distance through an actual slum the same evening that we saw the film. It's not like I've never visited a slum before, but every time I do, it's like finding yet another labyrinth and a whole lot of open secrets.

And oh yes, Ayush Khedekar simply stole my heart. He's the kind of kid you want to cuddle because he's so cute and watch intently because he's so expressive. In fact, the littlest Jamal was the most effective.

Good background score, though not very earth-shaking. Makes me wonder again what the Academy is really looking for, but what the heck.

Hum bekhudi mein tumko pukare chale gaye...

2008-12-29T01:28:00.000-08:00

It's about to be a month now since we became Mr and Mrs Vrushali Lad, and so far, things have been GREAT.

Never mind that I'm still a bit disorganised in the mornings and I'm STILL not used to not having a cup of tea handed to me first thing in the morning. The evenings are even worse, when I come tearing home and have to take 10 minutes just to list the chores to be done. But once the food is made (somehow) and I start on the rotis and the doorbell rings and the hubby comes home, somehow the effort is worth it with all the bullying him and ordering him about to set the table (I keep forgetting to do it every night) and then listening to him recount how his day either sucked or was terrific.

I even love the "Oye! Uth abhi!" routine we have every morning. Only difference is that when I say those words, he at least grudgingly gets out of bed, but when he does, I either don't hear him or just stay put.

It's been a nice time. Tomorrow I celebrate the first anniversary of the accident we had together last year. A year later, I have a deformed little finger and a cute little marriage to show for it :)

Just some stuff happening

2008-11-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

In keeping with my reputation of being my own worst enemy, I am about to embark on an escapade that is already making those who know me completely hysterical and not helping my self-esteem one bit. Also in keeping with the way I have lived my life so far, I have decided to complicate matters inextricably, knowing fully well that I will have myself and also the boyfriend to blame.

That's right. I am about to get married.

We've fixed it for December. Because it's a cool month and it's the last month of the year and because it aptly signifies the last few days of my being single and happy. And because when I choose to marry and in which month is my business, not yours.

It's only a court marriage, so no point getting your best suit or most garish saree out, because you're going to feel (and look) silly. There is no after-party either, so bad luck there as well. Of course, Greta Garbo wanted to attend the Bachelor Bash and the Spinster Party and the Wedding Dinner, but by now, he understands. A lot of the people who now know of this strange turn of events are either questioning the logic behind such a ceremony ("It happens once in your life, do it in style, na!") or applauding our sturdy common sense. Either way, no frills and fancies.

Right now, I'm enjoying watching the shock spread slowly across the face of whichever sucker either Sandy or I give our happy news to. Also, we'll be doing up the house this month, so that should be fun.

See you'll later.

Sickness

2008-09-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

The thing about falling ill is that there's a constant feeling of being underfoot, and that you're probably annoying your mother by just being there. And of course, you don't want to EVER go back to work because let's face it, what's so wrong about never going back?

On the upside, however, I got waited on hand and foot at all times, and there was one memorable night when the fever kept rising and my head kept pounding and both parents and the hubby were at my beck and call. Hee!

Kahan hai mera phone?

2008-09-20T23:22:00.000-07:00

September 17, 2008

h/l: Mumbai, Bengaluru will decide for entire country

While cell phone companies may become more stringent about screening terrorists' text messages

SENIOR CORRESPONDENT

Mumbai: Even as mobile phones increasingly become part of our lives, providing everything from accessibility to entertainment, the Centre may take the fun out of cell phone usage by imposing some rules.

Strangely enough, the entire country may come under the ambit of these rules though views have been canvassed only from Mumbai and Bengaluru.

"A Rajya Sabha committee on petitions, headed by BJP leader Venkaiah Naidu and six others, concluded their tour of Bengaluru, followed by Mumbai on Wednesday. The Committee was seeking opinions from concerned stakeholders after a Patiala resident, advocate Gurjit Singh, filed a petition seeking an "imposition of reasonable restrictions on the use of mobile phones" in certain places in the country.

As per Singh's petition, "mobile phones are being misused by the rank and file. There is a grave and urgent need to impose certain restrictions on the use of mobile phones, in such places as schools, colleges, vehicles when driving, places of worship, public offices and cremation grounds." He also contends that mobile phone cameras should be barred from use as some people take photographs of others without consent and 'waste time' watching video clips.

Naidu said, "We have taken meetings with students, parents, educators, cell phone operators, religious leaders and state government officials. The almost unanimous request from them has been that there should not be a complete ban on mobile phone usage in these places, but there may be reasonable restrictions."

However, Naidu conceded that some recommendations in the petitioner's plea may not be feasible. For example, Singh demands that jammers or decoders should be installed in educational institutions. Naidu said, "It becomes very expensive to fit every classroom with jammers. Also, it is not possible to bar networks in the entire building since such a system might hamper other buildings in the vicinity as well." Along with this and other points such as enacting laws barring the sale of phones with in-built cameras, increasing the penalties for talking on the phone while driving et al, Naidu said, would be deliberated on before compiling the report for submission to the Parliament.

However, the committee has made specific observations for cellular operators. "We have asked them to submit in writing if they have any mechanism to bar unwanted calls or obscene messages on the consumer's end. Also, in the wake of rising terrorism in the country, is it possible to screen messages sent from terrorists to pinpoint exact location?" Naidu said.

He also mentioned that with a lower spectrum use and lack of too many phone towers, cellular operators must not indiscriminately give out new connections to meet demand. The committee is scheduled to meet the health ministry for inputs on the harmful effects of cell phone radiation before taking a decision on towers' location vis-à-vis residential places.

Mr Gandhi, Mr Gandhi

2008-09-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

September 8, 2008

H/l: Help clear the Gandhi trail
Intro: Panel compiling information on places associated with Gandhi needs your help
Vrushali Lad
vrushali.lad@sakaaltimes.com

Mumbai: Even as West Bengal governor Gopal Krishna Gandhi stepped in to facilitate talks on the Tata Nano crisis in Singur, the youngest grandson of Mahatma Gandhi is busily looking for inputs of a different kind – a panel that he heads is documenting all the sites in the country associated with Gandhi.

Constituted in 2006 by the Centre, the Gandhi Heritage Sites (GHS) panel has painstakingly compiled a list of places that Gandhi visited or stayed in during his numerous travels for the freedom movement from 1920s onwards, but it requires help from historians and knowledgable members of the public to provide the specifics wherever the panel lacks sufficient data.

In an email reply sent to this reporter, in which Sakaal Times had asked for a list of places that the Mahatma had been associated with in Maharashtra, governor Gandhi sent a 288-page document containing such sites in the State. “We would like to have knowledgable persons’ response to the list,” he said.

As per the data provided by him, Gandhi visited Pune and Wardha the most, followed by Bombay, all between 1915 to 1946. He seemed to have covered all of Maharashtra, travelling often to Nashik, Yavatmal, Amravati, Nagpur, Kolhapur, Panvel, Thane, Jalgaon, Ahmednagar, Chiplun and Karjat.

However, certain data require more information before it is included in the final list. For instance, when Gandhi visited Kopargaon on February 18, 1927 to address a gathering of Marwaris at Rashtriya Pathshala, the GHS seeks to know if the Pathshala functions from the same venue today.

In Pune, Gandhi unveiled the bust of Vishnu Shastri Chiplunkar on September 4, 1924. The GHS requirement is: what is the site of the bust and is there a plaque marking Gandhiji’s unveiling of it? (See box for other Pune requirements.)

It was also in Pune that Gandhi started studying Marathi on February 27, 1915, so that he could access the political literature in that language. On May 20, 1933, he began taking Sinhagad spring water mixed with soda bicarbonate to relieve nausea and acidity. And it was in Pune that he helped set up a nature cure centre in 1944 and subsequently shut it down.

The details that the panel has compiled so far reveal the enigma that was Gandhi – always forthright and sometimes plain humourous. Interestingly, he made some significant statements on Maharashtra’s soil. For instance, when Kasturba and he were travelling in a third class compartment to Pune from Shantiniketan in 1915, Kasturba used the toilet in the second-class coach. He wrote, “I knew that my wife had no right to avail herself of the second class bathroom, but I ultimately connived at the impropriety. This, I know, does not become a votary of truth.

Not that my wife was eager to use the bathroom, but a husband’s partiality for his wife got the better of his partiality for truth. The face of truth is hidden behind the golden veil of maya, says the Upanishad.”

Very few would know that Gandhi desired to work at the Bombay High Court and that he tried very hard via a recommendation from a white judge, as was required in those days. Also, he unwillingly underwent a ‘cleansing ritual’ after coming back from England as demanded by elders of his community, who felt that going to England and mixing with the meat-eating and alcohol-drinking Europeans was a sin.

In a most interesting reply that Gandhi gave to a press reporter who wanted to know if the test-tube method of having babies was not ideal since it eliminated lust and carnality from procreation, at Wardha in 1940, Gandhi said, “Your method, as far as I can see, can only result in multiplying idiots or monsters, not human beings, thrown into the sea of passions.”

Geet gaata chal...

2008-09-04T04:48:00.001-07:00

Hindi filmdom has songs for every situation. While other cultures faff about love and war and such immaterial things, our songs have drama, action and in some cases, even humanitarian appeals. Check these out:

World's only Worst Listener song:
She: Hi re, hi!
He: Neend nahin aaye.
She: Hi!
He: Chain nahin aaye.
She: Hi!
He: Dil mein tu samaye.
She: Hi!
He: Aaya pyar bhara mausam deewana. Deewana.

World's best Teach Your Kids Wrong Spellings song:
Krazzy with a K, that's the way,
Say K-R-A-Z-Z-Y.
Do it anyway, just put the K,
in K-R-A-Z-Z-Y.

World's best What Is He Effing Talking About song:
You gotta rule,
yeh na tu bhool…
Ki tu hai cool oh yaaron.
Zara dil khol ke mujhko bol…
What’s in your soul bata do.
So if you wanna… yeah…yeah…
Dil hai deewana…yeah… yeah
One and two and three and four
Swing it with me doston…

World's best Lost in Translation song:
Yeh kya hua...kaise hua...
kab hua...kyun hua...jab hua,
oh chhodo, yeh na socho.
Hmm hmm hmm, yeh kya hua...?

World's best Doormat song:
Kitne bhi tu kar le situm,
Has has ke sahenge hum.
Yeh pyar na hoga kum,
sanam teri kasam.

World's best Learning By Rote Song:
Jhalak dikhla jaa,
jhalak dikhla jaa,
jhalak dikhla jaa,
jhalak dikhla jaa.
Ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aa ja.
Ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aa ja.
Ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aa ja.
Ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aa ja.

World's best 'Ab Tak 13' song:
Dil ki surkh deewaron pe
deewaron pe...
Naam hai 13 13...
naam hai 13 13
naam hai 13 13
naam hai 13 13.

World's most Simple Dance Number:
Disco 82.
Disco 82.
Disco 82.
La la la.

World's best What To Tell Your Kidnapper song:
She: Jaane do na...
He: Paas aao na...
She: Chhuo na chhuo na mujhe
chhuo na chhuo na mujhe
chhuo na, chhuo na, chhuo na...

World's best Alarmist song:
Hanste...gaate...
baaton baaton mein pyar ho jayega.

World's best Voices In My Head song:
Bhooli hui yaadon,
mujhe itna na satao...
ab chain se rehne do,
mere paas na aao.

Worlds' best Half Information song:
Humein tumse pyar kitna
yeh hum nahin jaante.
Magar jee nahin sakte
tumhare bina.

World's best I Am Foolish song:
Na na karte pyar tumhi se kar baithe.
karna tha inkaar, magar iqraar
tumhi se kar baithe.

World's only Hindi SPCA theme song:
So ja, nindiya ki bela hai...
Aa ja panchhi akela hai.

World's best Security Vault song:
Tere dil mein main apne armaan rakh doon...
aa meri jaan...main tujh mein apni jaan rakh doon.

World's best In Praise of Drool song:
Saathiya saathiya,
maddham maddham teri geeli hansi.

World's best Drunk To The Eyeballs song:
Chhalke teri aankhon se,
sharab aur zyada,
khilte rahe hothon ke
gulab aur zyada.

World's best Trust A Guy To Bungle Up song:
Aadmi jo kehta hai, aadmi jo sunta hai,
zindagi bhar woh sadayein peechha karti hain.
Aadmi jo deta hai, aadmi jo leta hai,
zindagi bhar woh duwaein peechha karti hain.

World's first Solitary Confinement song:
Chal akela, chal akela, chal akela.
Tera mela peechhe chhoota rahi, chal akela.

Our royal fatness

2008-09-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

h/l: Fat state of affairs in Maharashtra
Pune doc offers conclusive proof that younger populations are at higher risk of cardiac and other lifestyle disorders
VRUSHALI LAD

Mumbai: In a first for the state, a Pune-based doctor has devised a scientific model to prevent the occurrence of heart diseases and obesity, simply by checking one's Body-Mass-Index (BMI).

A painstakingly compiled survey from September 2006 to January 2008 across four cities in the State - Pune, Mumbai, Ahmednagar and Aurangabad - at shopping malls, schools, lower and higher end corporate houses, the Pune Municipal Corporation, jogging parks, multiplexes and medicine OPDs in civic hospitals, Dr Shashank Shah of the Laparo Obese Centre, along with the Rotary Club of Pune, Pashan, the Grant Medical Foundation and the Ruby Hall Clinic in Pune have just released the findings exclusively to Sakaal Times.

The results bring bad news across all age groups. Speaking to Sakaal Times, Dr Shah said, "The findings are compiled through readings taken from 1,969 people who volunteered to undergo the BMI test. Of the results we have compiled, we find that more women than men in the age groups 21-30 and 31-40 are in the mild obese to very obese range."

A BMI of 23, which is a ratio compiled by comparing the height and weight of a person, is an ideal number at any age. "Given a plus or minus two, a person above 25 BMI can be categorised as mildly obese. As per our findings, in the age group 21-30, men averaged a BMI of 35, while women averaged at 39.

Also, in the age group 31-40, men and women averaged at 30 and 32.5 BMI respectively."

Interestingly, though, as men cross the 50-year barrier, their BMI is above women in the same age group. "This can be attributed to the fact that after retirement, men's activity patterns change while women's remain the same. Even when they're old, most women continue taking care of the house while men become sedentary. This leads to a higher BMI," Dr Shah said.

Dr Shah has a word of caution for the 40-and above age groups. "This generation is unhealthy because most people are settled in life and rarely exercise. They want to enjoy their lives at the expense of being healthy. This generation generally has a BMI higher by 10."

Meanwhile, young women in the age group of 21-30 tend to physiologically put on more weight than men. "This is the age group that eats more outside and has hardly any time to exercise," Dr Shah says.

Box:

The BMI is calculated using a machine that matches a person's height and weight

35 highest BMI for 21-30 year-old men

39 highest BMI for 21-30 year-old women

33 BMI for men above 60, 29 for women

The survey team suggests that places of work or colleges must incorporate exercise equipment and an hour of mandatory exercise daily

So easy being a columnist, no?

2008-09-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

Gah, I give up. I tried - impartially at first, then with growing impatience - to see what all the fuss was about Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan. I mean, Come On! Quite apart from the blog being not that great (okay, that's her business, but STILL), the lady has taken to writing columns in newspapers, and that I take serious objection to, because the lady wastes half a page every Monday in both HT Cafe and Mumbai Mirror. And also because she writes tripe.

Or putting it mildly, she writes a lot of tripe.

Ms Madhavan pens A Column On Being Single In The City, titled 'Ms Adventure' (Miss Adventure, geddit? *Poke in the ribs, poke poke*) and the very first one was good. Then the standards of writing (if any had been set in the beginning) fell with a crash before you could say Yawn.

In today's MM column, Ms Madhavan concludes a two-part advice column on Some Basic Guidelines for being Single in Mumbai. Must say by the time I reached para 4, I wanted to move on to better things, because a) I am not single, b) Being single is not a disease that requires intervention from self-proclaimed Single Prats who Know It All, and c) I had had enough.

Sample these:
Continuing the theme, this week I'm going to go on with the Single Guidelines-making not being in a relationship as hassle-free as possible.
What a GRIPPING start! Can't wait to read more because I LOVE free advice. Also did not know that there were only two dimensions to living in Mumbai - Being Single and Being in a Relationship. And here I was, thinking having a good job and loads of laughs everyday actually mattered. My eyes have finally opened, but only for two minutes.

But two Bloody Marys on a Sunday afternoon down, and I'm filled with sentimentality for my women friends who have seen me boyfriend after boyfriend, have never judged -- at least not within earshot -- and who are the perfect wingwomen.
Two Bloody Marys on a Sunday afternoon fills her with sentimentality for her women friends. On my weekly off, all I think about on my Saturday afternoon after a good lunch and two glasses of water, is whether I should head straight to bed or go for a pedicure. Not once do I think of my women friends (not that I have very many). I am so shallow.

As you get older though, and more foolish, and loneliness and alcohol and late night drives enter the picture and there is a special guy friend or many special guy friends (get on with it, already) who are people who make you laugh till you cry or who look out for you as you look out for them, it's harder to keep the boundaries clear.
At this point, harder also to not tear the paper and jump on the remains. Does this lady live in a beer keg kept in a car? Almost every thing she writes deals with the drink-and-long-drive motif. She has successfully put me off both. Well, but at least she realises that the F-word applies to her, as in line 1 of this piece.

How to drive a car is the third thing I'm dealing with...of course, in our awesome city (which she calls Bombay, the prat) we can take public transport pretty much whenever. Then why drive, I hear you ask. Easy, because that way, you don't have to trudge down a flooded road for a rickshaw ruining your new shoes and also, let's face it, girls who can drive are very sexy.
Kay sangtay kay? Probably as a result of not being single in this awesome city and having some modicum of common sense, I do not wear new shoes in the rains and I don't need to sit behind a steering wheel to look sexy. But then, I come from the old school that thinks Sexy is in the mind and hence in the body. Also, my mum would have something to say if I ruined new shoes and the boyfriend would die laughing if I demanded a car because I wanted to look sexy. Besides, one needs something in one's nut, apart from all the booze and boy-thoughts floating around, to know how to use public transport in Mumbai. One cannot use new shoes well in public transport and there's no need to be sexy all the time, we're not Sophia Loren.

If you're the shy and retiring type, you can make yourself look mysterious and enigmatic by just smiling a little bit at introduction and then sitting somewhere in a room or at a table, crossing your legs and not saying very much.
Note to readers: Do the above also if you want to look slightly demented. All the women I've seen smiling a little and not saying much have always seemed like they were thinking with pleasure of their next hatchet job. But of course, lil ole unimaginative me equates enigmatic with Smita Patil or J K Rowling. Stupid only.

When you do decide to participate in a conversation, make sure it's something you have an informed opinion about or you'll just be dismissed out of hand.
No wonder I always dismiss Ms Madhavan.

Gawrsh, I need to lie down.

-

Close my eyes to God

2008-08-31T03:53:00.000-07:00

August 29, 2008
h/l: Crafting God with her eyes closed
Mumbai resident makes Ganesh idols blindfolded, is a five-time Limca record holder
VRUSHALI LAD

Mumbai: A lot of people make Ganesh idols at home. Only a few make them within a matter of minutes, still lesser numbers give away idols for free and hardly anyone can make them blindfolded. Sion resident Rama Shah (48) has managed all these for the last eight years.

Shah has been making Ganesh idols out of clay and a ‘secret ingredient’ that she uses and can make miniscule idols in about 40 seconds while larger ones take about half an hour. Ever since she was a child, she was interested in making different things and experimenting with various materials.In year 2000, she said, she inexplicably started dreaming of Ganesh idols. “I would dream of idols in different poses and colours. Then I would wonder why I was dreaming of the elephant God. Finally, I decided to make Ganesh idols and put all my skills to the test.”

Shah found that she loved crafting the idols but decided that she would never sell them. “I feel that there is something divine guiding my hands when I make these idols. I work in a room alone and undisturbed, and I give away the idols free to people who come to me for a murti. Many times I am able to advise them on which one to select. Almost all of them come back and tell me that after getting the idol home, their troubles have vanished,” she said.

Since 2000, she has made 80,000 idols and is aiming to reach the 1,00,000 mark. However, she made her first blindfolded idol out of irritation because a lot of people doubted that she was making all the idols herself. “Once a man kept asking if I had made so many idols myself. I retorted that I could make one blindfolded in front of him if he wished,” she said.Last year, she created a record when she made 500 different Ganesh idols in 20 hours non-stop, and without using a block or mould. “My name is featured in the Limca Book of Records five times already,” Shah beamed.

The material she uses gets hotter and hotter as the work progresses, and she said, most people are not able to work with it for more than a few minutes. “But every day at least four to five people come to me and take away some murtis. That makes me so happy that even though my hands hurt with the constant work, I feel like making more,” she said, gesturing towards the hundreds of idols she has arranged in her living room.

After crossing the 1,00,000 mark next year, Shah plans to teach the art of making murtis blindfolded to visually challenged persons so that they can make a living.

Blackmail, is all.

2008-08-30T01:27:00.000-07:00

Article Rank

EMAIL

bureaus@sakaaltimes.com

Recycle that thermocol

2008-08-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

August 21, 2008

h/l: With love from Pune: thermocol furniture
intro: First of its kind plant readies to turn waste thermocol into 100% remoldable furniture at cheap costs
Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: While thermocol is a great material to build models out of or to pack away that old TV set, it is the bane of waste recyclers. It neither burns nor does it reduce to invisible units, and if set alight, the result is a molten mess that solidifies when cool and gives off acrid vapours.

Hence, Dr Rajendra Jagdale, Director General of Pune's Science and Technology Park (STP) helped set up a very special plant at Ranjangaon that would tame the otherwise monstrous thermocol into a friendlier avatar. In layman's terms, the plant would treat discarded thermocol to mould it into furniture items that are cheap, durable, recyclable and fire-proof. Interestingly, items made of this material can be used even for street furniture and picket fences.

"The thermocol is converted into fine powder, after which it undergoes a special process that makes it ready in the form of sheets. These can then be used to make a variety of things ranging from floor panels to window frames," Dr Jagdale told Sakaal Times.

The facility and the technology is the first of its kind in the country, though the technical know-how originates in Korea. "The Ranjangaon plant is almost ready, after which the manufacturing process using the treated thermocol would be done at another unit at the MIDC area," Dr Jagdale explained.

He is understandably excited at the prospect of using thermocol in this manner. "Ranjangaon is home to a host of electronics industries, and the area generates about 10 tonnes of thermocol waste daily. The civic conservancy workers do not pick up thermocol pieces since you can't destroy the material. Ragpickers too steer clear of it because one doesn't get more than Rs 3 per kilogram of thermocol while selling it," he explained.

The ecological and monetary benefits far outweigh any concerns about the costs of setting up and running the two plants in Pune. Once ready, the material looks just like wood but it is much lighter. Plus, several tests on the completed material have proved that it is waterproof and termite-resistant, it can withstand temperatures up to 900 degree Celsius and hence it is fire-proof and the best part is, it can be broken down completely and moulded into something else.

"Basically, you can use items made from treated thermocol in any season and in any manner since there are no hazards attached to it and it can't be easily damaged. This is an eco-friendly attempt to create lasting furniture without resorting to wood, thus saving trees," Dr Jagdale said.

Getting furniture made out of it would also be cheap at Rs 75 per square feet, a fraction of the cost as compared to wooden ply. An environmental benefit would be the chance to earn carbon credits if one gives up waste thermocol directly to the plant.

Too much...

2008-08-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

It was a bad day. After Laxmi Chhaya last year, I covered the Bhendi Bazaar building collapse today. And after a long time, I cried while reporting.

I was strangely unmoved all throughout when taking pictures of the site and watching with a sick feeling in my stomach when the rescuers unearthed a bit of rubble and I could see the crown of a woman's head. Part of her green saree could be seen poking out of the rubble a metre away. Then I breathlessly waited till two young men, both miraculously alive and answering questions, were patiently pulled out. A woman who was pulled out shortly before them didn't make it.

Neither did over six children, some of them as young as two or three years old. All of these were mere statistics, though, which every reporter notes down since that is the stuff news reports are made of.

Then Sandeep and I went to JJ Hospital, and kept well out of the way of grieving relatives seated in a line outside the building. So far, so impassive. Then the body of a little boy was brought out on a stretcher uncovered. I saw his little face scratched and his rigid limbs either broken or caked with dried blood. His eyes were open, so were his little lips - in a scream or in surprise? The child probably died in his sleep, at least I hope he did. Then a group of women peeped into the open ambulance and recognised the child as one of their neighbours'.

And suddenly, I was crying. Crying like I'd lost my own child. The other reporters there looked at me strangely, Sandeep patted my shoulder. I kept seeing the sorry little face with its unseeing eyes and its torn clothes and its utter helplessness in its death. I can still see his little body all taut in death and subjected to curious stares even from strangers - who doesn't want to look at a corpse?

A little girl of four also died, and today was her fourth birthday. A young woman who had come to the city just 15 days ago to be with her husband died as well. I filed the story, updated the death and injured toll and then cried inside because there are such few occasions that actually move a reporter.

Oh woman...

2008-08-09T23:01:00.000-07:00

August 7, 2008

h/l: State women are strange paradoxes
More educated than before but harbour regressive attitudes about domestic violence and gender roles
VRUSHALI LAD
vrushali.lad@sakaaltimes.com

Mumbai: The adage 'it is difficult to understand women' is probably true. Now the government has published findings that can back this claim. As per the National Family Health Survey 3 (NFHS 3) findings published for Maharashtra, the State's women are more emancipated than before but a surprising majority believes that a man is justified in beating up his wife.

This startling contradiction comes through in the report compiled for Maharashtra by three contributors, all women - Sulabha Parasuraman, Sunita Kishor and Y Vaidehi - who are affiliated with the International Institute for Population Sciences (IIPS).

As per their findings, "More than half of the women in the State have had sexual intercourse by the time they are 18 years of age, while half of the men have had sexual intercourse by the time they are about 24 years." However, this is not a sign of sexual liberation, but because many women are marrying at early ages.

"The earlier age at sexual intercourse for women than men is a consequence of the fact that in Maharashtra first sexual intercourse largely occurs within marriage and women marry at younger ages than men," the report says. Interestingly, a high 74 per cent of married women participate in making decisions for their households, either independently or jointly with their spouses.

The higher numbers of decision-making women abound in the State's urban areas, with 'women in nuclear households and women employed for cash being more likely to participate in the household decisions,' the contributors say.

"About 20 per cent of women have a bank or savings account that they themselves use, higher than the national average of 15 per cent," is an interesting finding. But with this rosy picture of women's empowerment, come a few startling findings.

"About 51 per cent of women believe that it is justifiable for a husband to beat his wife under specific circumstances. Women are most likely to say wife beating is justified if a woman shows disrespect for her in-laws (41 per cent) or if she neglects the house or children (34 per cent). Forty-eight per cent men agree that wife beating is justified under specific circumstances."

And yet, about two-third of women believe a woman can refuse to have sex with her husband if he has a sexually transmitted disease, if he has had sexual intercourse with other women, or if she is not in the mood.

Higher levels of education among women has resulted in a greater awareness of contraceptive methods both for themselves and their partners. "About 65.8 per cent women felt that having two children was enough, while only 3.1 per cent wanted three children. Correspondingly, 14.6 per cent men wanted three children," the findings reveal.

Also, more women want sons instead of daughters and a huge 80.1 per cent women aged 30-39 years want at least one son. The figures are much lower for men.

Goodwill hunting

2008-08-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

Sadashiv Vaidya was very happy with this copy. And though his story isn't the only case in the world, it just goes to prove that whatever one's circumstances or geographical location or financial standing, a story is a story.

July 30, 2008

H/l: Rs 20 lakhs and a story of hope

Intro: How a man fought hard for his freedom and how he is teaching other men to do the same

Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: Sadashiv Vaidya is a fiercely private man. But since his acquittal in a dowry harassment case filed by his wife three years ago, the 48-year-old electrical engineer has decided to make his private hell public. In the coming weeks, he and his two children will recount their story on national television in UAE, where they live.

"My kids have been with me throughout my trial," an emotional Vaidya told Sakaal Times. "Both of them told the court that they wanted to live with me. They helped me build evidence against their mother who was cheating on me with my best friend. Now that I am acquitted of all charges, I want all those men who are suffering to hear my story," he said.

Though not unique, his story is an interesting one. After Lata, his wife of over 15 years, filed a dowry harassment case against her husband in 2005 and demanded two crore rupees in damages, Vaidya decided to fight the charges. "She didn't want the children's custody, all she wanted was the money she thought I would give her. The day she filed the complaint, I went to jail.

But I got bail the next day and had to fight hard for the next three years to secure my acquittal. I had cleverly gathered a lot of evidence against her which proved her complicity in the adulterous relationship," he said. In fact, his acquittal without a monetary settlement in just three years is perhaps the fastest in the history of dowry harassment cases in the country.

However, Vaidya is still on the run because he had invested in bonds in his and Lata's name and he perceives a threat to his life. "If I die now, she will get the money. So when I come here, I don't tell anyone about it," he said, adding that all his money should go only to his children.

From May 2005 to January 2008, Vaidya has spent over Rs 20 lakhs only on litigations and is unable to secure a permanent job in Abu Dhabi because he must fly to Mumbai every month for court appearances. "This case ruined my life. I will never marry again but I am committed to helping other men fighting the dowry law."

For this, he and his two children will tell their story on TV and in the print media so that others may learn from it. "I have counselled about 25 men in UAE free of cost about the paperwork they must keep ready and how to gather evidence for court," Vaidya said.

"The justice system works for you if you know how to make it work. If you are innocent, you owe it to yourself to prove it," he signed off.

Move over PETA

2008-07-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

July 23, 2008

h/l: Forest control rooms to check poaching
intro: State plans 33 control rooms to keep wildlife cruelty in check
VRUSHALI LAD

Mumbai: As cases of poaching and maiming wild animals in the State's jungles come to light, the government has given the State's citizens a good chance to help combat poaching and cruelty against wildlife. Forest Minister Babanrao Pachpute has announced his department's ongoing project of setting up control rooms in 33 districts to register calls from concerned citizens.

Pachpute made the announcement via a written reply to a question put to him by MLAs Sudhir Mungantivar and others on the floor of the Legislative Assembly on Wednesday.

A senior official from Pachpute's office said, "Excluding two districts in Mumbai, 33 districts will have control rooms where people who have spotted a hunting activity or cruelty towards wild animals can call and register a complaint."

The control rooms would be attached with the local forest office and would have a fast access short code. The short code, to be operationalised by BSNL, would be the same all over the State and would be designated only for the use of registering these complaints.

Considering that major poaching activities for ivory and cutting down of sandalwood takes place after dark, the helplines would run for 24 hours. The assistant forest conservators in each district would monitor the working of the control rooms. Even such activities as disposing off carcasses, skinning animals or felling trees can be reported.

The Centre has given 155314 as the fast access code for Maharashtra. The necessary permissions to operationalise 33 separate control rooms for this project were given on May 15 this year.

Meanwhile, Pachpute said that of the 33, five control rooms are ready at Amravati, Buldhana, Paratwada, Gadchiroli and Chandrapur. "The project is fast nearing completion," he assured.

Box:
No word on Atram arrest
Interestingly, while explaining to the House that the Chinkara poaching incident of June 14, 2008 was 'still under investigation', Forest Minister Babanrao Pachpute avoided mentioning the Dharmarao Atram angle to the case.
Responding to questions about the action to be taken against those involved in the killing at Chaudharwadi, Pachpute replied, "Four persons have been arrested, and the statements of 23 witnesses have been recorded. We have recovered rifles, pistols and the vehicles used in the hunt."

Missing you...

2008-07-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

July 25, 2008

h/l: Where in the world is Renge Patil?

intro: Missing ex-Sena MP is in hiding since last Sunday

Vrushali Lad

How's this for an irony? The Member of Parliament, who from August 2006 onwards, is a member of the Committee on Absence of Members from Sittings of the House, is himself missing from action. Tukaram Renge Patil, Shiv Sena MP expelled for defying the party whip to vote against the United Progressive Alliance (UPA) during the trust vote held on Wednesday, has been 'untraceable' since last Sunday.

Interestingly, he has been giving interviews to television channels for the last two days, though the channels have not been revealing his location on air.

Renge Patil was spotted last in Delhi on Sunday morning, after which he has seemingly 'disappeared' but is in touch with family and close associates. He remained absent for the two-day special session of Parliament held on Sunday and Monday, and has not gone to his home at Jamb in Parbhani.

In fact, the phone number he usually uses is currently being operated by his close aide, Amul. Speaking to Sakaal Times on Friday evening, Amul said, "I am currently in Pune. Saheb (Renge Patil) is not here with me. I don't know where he is." On probing a little further, he confessed, "I cannot tell you where he is. All I can say is he is not here in Pune."

That Renge Patil was bound to defy the party whip had become obvious when he did not attend the party meeting at Sena chief Bal Thackeray's residence 'Matoshree' last Saturday. For two days after that, the Sena maintained that Renge Patil was with them and that all MPs would abide by the whip. However, that did not lessen the blow for the Sena when he did not show up for the trust vote and though his absence had a bearing on the NDA losing the vote, his defiance of the party whip stunned the Sena, which is not used to such rebellion.

Renge Patil has reportedly been changing his location every two days since Sunday to escape Shiv Sainiks, who are on the lookout for him. His home in Parbhani has been given police protection and sources said that the MP is due to return home next week, albeit under tight police protection.

The number that Amul provided to Sakaal Times has been consistently switched off. When he provided an alternate number, it was a wrong number. "That is the number we call saheb on," Amul insisted. Meanwhile, sources said that Renge Patil is not in talks to join any other political party as of now.

In Renge Patil's official profile as listed by the Lok Sabha book on MPs, the missing MP's sporting interests include kabaddi and kho kho. His skills at both sports should come in handy now as he dodges irate Sainiks baying for his blood after his 'betrayal'.

This book goes to...

2008-07-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

If I ever write a book (and I'm as likely to do that as accepting that DDLJ is a good movie), the first thing I would keep ready would be the dedication. Whether I have a story to tell or not is not as important as who I dedicate the book to.

The following are likely to get a mention and the following dedication:
Golu: For tipping the balance, literally, with her cheeks. This book is a result of the agony I felt when the said cheeks went missing after a bout of paid self torture that fooled no-one.
Pooky: For showing me that where there's a laugh, there's a snort.
Mummy: For the most acidic and most hilarious sense of humour. This story was born just as my life was flashing by in front of my eyes, after I almost choked on my food with one of your observations.
Dad: For helping me with the fine tuning of this book, since I had to repeat everything thrice to get you to listen.
Babboo: For giving me the bright idea to write in the first place, and for innocently hoping that I'd be so busy with writing, I'd finally get out of your hair. Good luck with that thought.
Moh: For balancing the dual role of being Manmohan Engapoye and Manmohan Singh.
Sanju: For being the obliging (and expanding) punching bag for all seasons.
Prash: For practising tomorrow's on-air witticisms on me today.
Prasad Patil: For showing me what can be done with little brains and no spine - Nothing.
Satish Nandgaonkar: For being an online buddy and mentor without even meeting me yet. It's been over a year.
Dixit sir: For understanding that I have some brains and giving me the respect I deserve.
Vinod Kumar Menon: For adding a whole new dimension to crime reporting and dog-at-the-scene-of-crime coverage. Also for packing a Punch.
Sriram: For being more elusive than Greta Garbo. And for calling me 'item' and getting away with it.
Madhav Gokhale: For being my clean jokes and SMS buddy.
Ketan: For always having a joke ready, whatever the time or place or situation.

General dedications
National College batchmates: Just die, the whole lot of you. No dedication for you fuckers.
St Andrew's College batchmates: For being the craziest and funniest bunch in the world.
School: The only thing good about you is the location.
Dad's relatives: Who needs lobotomy when I have mind-numbers like you?
Journalism: Who you?
Writing: I love you.

I KNEW somebody else was to blame

2008-07-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

June 30, 2008

H/l: Current agro policies causing food crisis: UNESCO
Intro: Food report slams delink between technologies introduced by developed countries and poverty increase in developing nations
Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: A UNESCO-supported initiative in which 400 scientists worked for over three years to compile findings about the world's agricultural patterns and economies has been released at a time when the world is grappling with a food crisis. Interestingly, their findings raise pertinent questions about what the effects of agro-technology have been on countries like India.

Titled 'Why Modern Agriculture must change' and written by Susan Schneegans, the June-September 2008 report chronicles the current global food crisis and its effect on the economies of developing countries.

In the context of India, Schneegans writes, "How is it that in India, one of the greatest beneficiaries of the Green Revolution, the number of landless rural farmers rose from 28 million to over 50 million between 1951 and 1990s? And why does India grapple with one of the world's highest rates of child malnutrition?

Current international policies promoting economic growth through agriculture do not necessarily resolve the issue of poverty. The cost of structural adjustment policies advocated by the World Bank in recent decades is one cause of the high migration from the countryside to urban centers in search of jobs in India and elsewhere."

She further adds, "Resource constraints limit the extent to which many governments can actually support their farmers: for example, 8 to 10 per cent in India and Vietnam. Middle-level exporting countries like India are trying to obtain agreements which will maintain their own existing levels of support while reducing the levels allowed to developing countries."

The findings of the study point towards small-holder farmers suffering competition from cheaper imports than their own products. "Opening up sections of agricultural markets to liberalised trade led to a 55 per cent fall in cotton prices in India between 1996 and 2003 in the face of competing imports from subsidised producers like the USA. Many destitute cotton farmers have been driven to suicide," Schneegans writes.

Scientists have predicted that with growing populations, there will be a growing competition for water. "Under current water-use practices, increases in population and changes in diet will increase water consumption in food and fibre production by 70 to 90 per cent. Between now and 2020, the amount of water available per person in East and South Asia and the Pacific, for instance, will drop to one-third that in 1950, or even less," the report warns.

They also caution: one of the key factors causing the current food crisis is the global homogenisation in eating habits. "Many countries have abandoned their traditional foods in favour of a more Western model with its focus on a handful of cereals and a copious consumption of meat and sugar," Calvo said, adding, "this had created an enormous dependence on overseas markets. If countries don't maintain a rich agricultural biodiversity, they risk a growing dependence on a shrinking choice of cereals."

The investigators also say that "the current food crisis is a wake up call, a warning that a sporadic food crisis could turn into a chronic crisis if nothing is done to change modern agricultural practices in the days and months to come."

Looking for JB

2008-06-16T01:42:00.000-07:00

June 15, 2008

H/l: 10,000 posters between hope and an answer
Intro: Family has made posters with details of missing Frenchman's disappearance from Mumbai last year; any new leads will emerge only out of them
from: Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: Jean Baptiste Talleu (26) went missing from Mumbai on December 5, 2007 and till date there is no news of the missing Frenchman’s probable whereabouts or worse, his death. His family visited Mumbai this year to meet the police, but as time passes, all further routes have dried up.

Jean’s mother Marie-Claire and brother Vincent are now banking on posters and a Rs 2,00,000 reward to help get the cycling enthusiast back. Speaking to Sakaal Times via email, Vincent said, “We have printed a total of 10,000 posters and flyers with Jean’s photo and details but we have left them with our friends in Mumbai. We are searching for a company of professionals that could help us with the posting of the posters and flyers. If you have any idea, please tell us. We need the posters to be placed at many strategic places but from here it is not easy. Jean-Baptiste could be anywhere in India.”

The search has dried up and the Talleus are nearing breaking point, especially since everything now hinges on the posters being put up and people responding to them. “The French Consulate has done everything, but didn't find any clues. They are now waiting for leads to come out of the posters,” Vincent said.

Marie-Claire may visit Mumbai again to speak to the cops and address the press. In the meantime, the Talleus have launched a desperate search on the internet with various forums but the key lies in India. “We have met the media, we also wrote on forums on the internet, but to touch local people in India the best is posters (sic), but we struggle with getting them spread,” Vincent said.

The family is hoping that Jean-Baptiste is still in Mumbai and may have embarked on his planned cycle tour of the country without knowing that an alert has been issued for him. “The police say they done (sic) everything they could. It seems obvious to me that there hasn't been any activity on his bank account after he arrived in Mumbai, otherwise we wouldn't be looking for him there,” he said.

There is no justice in this world

2008-06-08T04:57:00.000-07:00

Does it matter to you, God, that I really hate the rains? No, don't laugh, or I'll pull your moustache. It's all your fault, you with your three seasons and all that blah about the city getting respite from the heat. Call this blas-fucking-phemy, but you are a sadist.

I have had to wade to office in really yucky water at some parts near Churchgate station. Quite apart from that, despite a windcheater, my shoulders and my bum (!) got wet, and I was wearing denims. Every sucker who lives in denims knows that denims never dry up - not in the monsoons, anyway.

Then I reached office after a brisk and, by turns, slippery 15-minute walk to office. On the way, I got increasingly drenched and needed to go to the loo. Once I got there, I learnt that a) The peon on morning duty had decamped without telling anyone and b) The guy on afternoon duty had not turned up yet.

So I sat on the dusty, creaking and shadowy staircase because I needed to eat my packed lunch. Somehow I got the chicken and bread lunch out without spilling anything, noting grimly that the new Rs 1,300 Reebok sack, supposedly waterproof, had fuckin' ALLOWED WATER IN.

After I had finished my lunch and was seriously contemplating peeing on the staircase (it's wood and there was nobody in the building anyway), the peon on afternoon duty sauntered in and asked, "Arre, madam tumhi aalat?" Then he opened the front door whilst whistling a cheery tune, and once the door opened, watched in stupefied amazement as I made a bolt for the loo. I looked like I was chasing after my kid's kidnappers.

Then when I was nicely settled in my chair and turning the fan on a speed of 4 (for maximum and quick drying), the rain stopped and a weak ray of sunlight filtered in through the window.

After being drenched. After spending an hour on a dark and dusty staircase. After a torturous hour of thinking longingly of the toilet.

I put my head down on my desk and wept.

Advice for the rains: Whack all office boys and eat lunch before leaving home on Sundays. Also, carry extra plastic bag to furtively pee in.

The boy who lived

2008-06-05T21:46:00.000-07:00

May 29, 2008

H/l: Aaj ki raat mere dil ki salaami le le...

Intro: Short film made after Naushad Ali's death is a great story well told

Byline: Vrushali Lad

It's easy recounting a rags-to-riches story of an ambitious young man setting out into the world to realise his dreams against all odds. But filmmaker Buddhadeb Dasgupta didn't have it easy by any means – he was recounting a true story and the hero of his tale passed away just as research on his life was underway.

But Dasgupta persevered, and culling information from family collections, old associates, interviews and photographs, presented the journey of one of the greatest musicians of Hindi filmdom, in a fitting tribute to the boy who gave up all and won much more back. Dasgupta's 39-minute documentary film on the life and genius of musician Naushad Ali is sensitively put together in the Films Division-funded 'Naushad Ali – The Melody Continues'.

Naushad's story began in true filmi fashion: as a boy, he loved Hindi film music so much that he would regularly skip school to catch movies at a local theatre in Lucknow. Later his father told him to choose between music and his family. Naushad chose music and moved to Mumbai, never to return to his ancestral home in Lucknow but to remember his grandmother and the trees and houses of his childhood till his dying days.

This beginning leads into an absorbing story told through Dasgupta's eyes, as he chronicles the rise and rise of Hindi film music's enfant terrible Naushad Ali. The story within the story is that the film, screened this week by Films Division at Cuffe Parade, almost didn't get made.

Dasgupta almost shelved his work after Naushad died in year 2006. "I had started work on it just a few days before he was hospitalised in April 2006. I thought I would continue with it once he was discharged. But he didn't make it and I wondered how I could make a film about his life if he wasn't there on camera and to guide me as the work progressed," the Bengali filmmaker and National Awardee says.

"Then I internalised the idea that Naushad Ali would never die. I started afresh." The film initially seems dull since there are no family members on camera to describe Naushad's early life. But five minutes into the narration, the film picks up pace and comes to life when Dasgupta presents Naushad in Naushad's own words.

Most people forgot Naushad's second death anniversary this year. Dasgupta's film becomes especially precious for this reason, since it presents a picture of the composer in an impish yet sensitive manner.

For instance, in an early video clip, Naushad describes how his mother wrote to him in the 1950s, telling him that she had selected a bride for him but had told her family that the groom was a tailor in Mumbai. "When she wrote to me, I agreed to be a 'tailor' just to placate her. By then I had already scored the music for a few films and it was popular. And during the wedding, I was tickled to find that the band kept playing numbers from my films – my family finally realised that the tailor was famous!"

Another clip shows an old Naushad at his plush bungalow Aashiyana at Bandra's Carter Road, singing melodiously with family members while playing the harmonium. Dasgupta says, "Apart from being a great musician, he was a great singer and he lived constantly in the world of music. But he had other unusual interests. For instance, do you know that he was a keen fishermen and hunter? Till he died, he was President of the Maharashtra State Angling Association."

Naushad was also a photography enthusiast, and his love for the visual medium prompted him to produce three Hindi films.

However, Naushad slowly began to phase himself out of the film music scene when Western music began pervading Bollywood. "Suddenly there was the Rumba, then the Samba, then Cha Cha Cha. I had no use for such music. I always was and always will be committed to Hindustani classical music," Naushad states in a short colour video.

In fact, his score for the 1960 superhit Mughal-e-Azam was an acid test for him as a musician. "A lot of film composers told me that the public would reject the music outright. Nobody had the patience with classical music, especially when it was set to Urdu shayari. But my director K Asif had full faith in me, and this was proved in a surprising way.

We were to begin recording for the Tansen song, which plays in the background as Salim romances Anarkali in the palace. When Asifsaab asked me who would sing the songs, I said only Bade Ghulam Ali Khan had Tansen's genius. Asif agreed to get him on board. But Khansaab charged Rs 25,000 per song – a shocker since even top singers then charged about Rs 500 per song. But Asif agreed and immediately handed over Rs 10,000 as advance payment.

When you saw that people were willing to invest in true talent, it inspired you to give your best for them. Sadly, that devotion to the craft was missing in latter day filmfolk, and I was not interested in many projects offered to me later," Naushad reminisces emotionally on camera.

In an interview given to a film magazine in the 1960s, Naushad spoke of himself as a man who "did nothing to further the cause of music. The music has existed for several thousand years. I only presented old wine in new bottles."

Naushad faded from the public eye altogether after Pakeezah in 1971, only for his music to resurface one last time for the eminently forgettable Taj Mahal: An eternal love story in 2005, a year before he passed away. The fact that the film did not do well nor was Naushad's music lauded, only served to prove that the genius of his composition probably belonged to another forgotten era.

At the end of the film, Dasgupta cleverly weaves a voiceover by Naushad onto a visual showing the many awards and honours the musician won in his lifetime. In a soft voice laced with nostalgia, Naushad says, "A lot of people, many of them journalists, ask me to name three of my best songs. I often ask myself if I have a best song. My best song is still to come, I haven't composed it yet…"

Like Dasgupta promises, the melody continues…

Accidental occurence

2008-06-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

June 3, 2008

H/l: Male, young, and prey to the roads
Intro: A recently published study shows clear pattern in road accidents in Maharashtra
Byline: Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: Even something as seemingly random as a road accident has a pattern. More worryingly, this pattern dictates that most road accidents in Maharashtra happen during the monsoon months and that most victims are in the age-group 21 to 29 years.

These findings emerge from a research conducted by four doctors at the Karad-based Krishna Institute of Medical Sciences University, and was recently published by the Indian Journal of Community Medicine. The study, titled 'Pattern of Road traffic injuries: A study of Western Maharashtra' comes up with some interesting points.

The study throws light on many aspects of road accidents, and can help hospitals and police plan first aid and surveillance on accident-prone roads better. Maharashtra has the highest number of registered vehicles and contributes 11.5 per cent of road accidents and 13 per cent of road accident deaths in the country.

An average of 200 accidents are reported daily resulting in 23 fatalities and 134 injured persons. As per the Central Institute for Road Transport, Maharashtra had 79,806 road accidents in 2007, resulting in 10,735 deaths.

"We studied over 400 road accident cases before tabulating the results. We found that the proportion of male victims was greater than female victims by a ratio of 4.6:1. Besides, most of the road accidents occurring in Maharashtra during the year happen during the monsoon months of June to September," said Dr Supriya Patil, one of the researchers.

This is to be noted particularly since the monsoon months are approaching. The study further states that a staggering 60 to 80 per cent casualties take place during the daylight hours, thus shattering the belief that night journeys by road are more dangerous. "There is a significant association between the type of vehicle and overcrowding," said Dr Patil, adding that the general tendency among travellers is to fill the vehicle up to twice or more of its seating capacity.

There is a pattern even to the injuries sustained – most of the deaths result due to head injuries, followed by huge blood loss due to injuries to extremeties and the head. "Motorised two wheelers involved in road accidents lead to the most head injuries," Dr Patil said.

Road accidents in numbers
79,806 in year 2007
10,735 deaths in 2007
25 per cent of deaths by injury are due to road accidents: WHO
200 average road accidents daily in Maharashtra
60 per cent of road accidents are caused by speeding

Senior netizens

2008-06-03T02:01:00.000-07:00

June 1, 2008

H/l: Senior citizens' tribe increases on internet
Intro: Study says senior citizens are fastest growing internet user group in 2007
byline: Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: If you thought your grandparents or your retired father would be the last person to access the internet, think again. A new research study published by the Internet And Mobile Association of India (IAMAI) says that senior citizens, especially those above 60 years of age, were the fastest growing internet user group in India in year 2007.

The study was conducted last year, when the government of India declared year 2007 as the Broadband Year in the country. The results were tabulated and recently released, and the findings are surprising. Of the senior citizens surveyed in nine metros and 15 Tier II cities in the country, IAMAI found that senior citizens are using the internet for a range of activities from e-mail to matrimony.

The percentages translate into sizeable numbers since, as per UN estimates, the senior citizen population in the country is expected to touch 7.5 per cent of the total projected population of 1,147,677,000 in 2008. Of these, about 25 per cent are already internet-savvy, says IAMAI.
The report states, "The maximum usage by senior citizens on the internet is for emailing (99 per cent), followed by surfing for information (70 per cent), online banking (38 per cent) and online shopping (21 per cent).

Online chatting, long considered the domain of younger age groups, is also catching on among this age group. A high 47 per cent of senior netizens chat on the internet, while 17 per cent were recorded to use matrimonial websites while surfing. However, the major use remains in financial transactions, with an average of 30 per cent users logging on for stock trading, online shopping and bill payments.

Other activities include using search engines (66 per cent), research (23 per cent), job search (20 per cent), astrology (22 per cent) and spiritual information (19 per cent).

For the forgotten ones

2008-06-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

May 27, 2008

H/l: Old age knocks on government's doors
Intro: …while Mumbai gears up for programme to highlight elderly issues
Byline: Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: A group of professionals linked together by a love for the elderly and an empathy for their needs, have compiled a petition for CM Vilasrao Deshmukh's consideration. The petition includes everthing from securing a reasonable monthly pension for the elderly to amending laws for their protection.

"We will be taking the petition to the CM and the social justice department on June 14, a day before World Elder Abuse Day. We hope the government is receptive to the idea of treating senior citizens on par with the rest of society and stop the many abuses being meted out to them by their families and society," said one of the seven founders of the Silver Innings Foundation (SIF), Sailesh Mishra.

"Everybody gets old, but we tend to abuse our elders' rights to suit our convenience. SIF hopes to secure these rights and help families include the elderly in their daily functioning, instead of relegating them to the fringes," another SIF member, Amruta Lovekar said.

SIF, a coming together of professionals from various walks of life, has compiled the petition to target officials and citizens alike. "Apart from society, the government and police do not take senior citizens into account. Hence there are no specific laws and facilities for them, resulting in no clear framework and a gross abuse of basic rights," said Mishra. The petition will be posted on www.silverinnings.com from May 29 to gather maximum popular support (see box).

Hearteningly, SIF is just a month old and works out of a tiny office at Lower Parel, but it already has over 150 members in a month since it started in April 2008 and over 40 per cent of them are youngsters. In an interesting twist, the website is being upgraded to include a blogging space for senior citizens, as also a dating service for the elderly. "It's basically about including them into mainstream life," said Mishra.

SIF is organising a month-long programme from June 1 to June 30 to highlight elderly issues, and will have workshops on legal rights, distribution of armbands and badges, and slots for dialogue between older and younger generations.

Box:
Attention: Vilasrao Deshmukh
The SIF petition recommends:
Form senior citizens forum in every community
Form vigilance committees in every urban residential colony
Set up multi-service community Gero-care centre
Start 4-digit national Elder Abuse Helpline
Give more power to local police station to act against elder abuse
Make elder abuse a non-bailable offense
Let third party lodge complaint on behalf of abused elders
Establish counselling centers
Have grievances centre in each tehsil/ taluka
Regular awareness campaigns through media

Atta, boy!

2008-05-22T01:25:00.000-07:00

May 21, 2008

H/l: 56-year-old goes back to law school
Intro: Studying law to fight cases free of cost for harassed husbands in city
Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: While other men his age eagerly anticipate the retirement years or enjoy the company of their families, Mohanlal Gupta (56) pores over piles of heavy law books. The former IITian is not studying to add to his skills, but out of a humane necessity to save men and families troubled by scheming wives.

“I am the oldest person in the Siddharth Law College, older even than the principal by 15 days,” laughs Gupta, who spearheads the Mumbai chapter of the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), which has been helping men who are at the receiving end of the deadly Sec 498 (A) of the IPC since 2005. However, Gupta’s merriment disappears when he explains why he gave up his booming consultancy practise and took up studying law.

“My only son was, and continues to be a victim of the extortionist element ingrained in Sec 498 (A),” he says. “His wife left him after just three months of marriage, then demanded monthly maintenance from him. We paid her for 15 months till my son finished his studies, then he filed for divorce. When she realised that he would not meet any more demands, she alleged harassment.”

The dreaded Sec 498 (A) deals with 'Husband or relative or husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.' The case is still on at Mulund court, and Gupta vows that once his studies are over, he will fight his son’s case and put the girl behind bars.

“There are scores of men out there, all like my son, who have horrific tales to tell. When I heard their stories I decided to fight such cases free of cost once I became a lawyer,” he says.

The SIFF members in Mumbai are also part of the Protect Indian Family Foundation (PIFF), which operates three helplines in Mumbai. There are over 5,000 active SIFF members in the country today, with over 175 in Mumbai. “We are handling 100 new calls per month, and will start more helplines to serve every needy person.”

Apart from PIFF taking a rally to Bandra Family court in June, the movement is set to hit TV screens as well. “We are registered with Indian Motion Pictures Association (IMPA) and are working on a teleserial dealing with husbands’ harassment by misusing the laws,” Gupta says.

If your wife and in-laws have slapped Sec 498 (A) on you and you need counselling, call M R Gupta on 9869323538 or B R Gokul on 9821414336. Nationwide helpline numbers are available on www.saveindianfamily.org

Blog. Blank Noise.

2008-05-21T00:16:00.000-07:00

May 20, 2008

H/l: How a blog sparked a national movement
Intro: Blank Noise, a protest against street sexual harassment moved from the streets to cyberspace and became a national movement
Byline: Vrushali Lad
Slug: Fighting street harassment

Mumbai: Jasmeen Patheja was just 18 when she moved from Kolkata to Bengaluru to finish her art studies in 2003. But a few lecherous men gave her the first taste of street sexual harassment on the roads, prompting the gritty undergraduate, alone in an alien city, to fight back.

But she soon discovered that attitudes towards eveteasing were to blame. “There is an underlying feeling that women ‘ask for it’. Men are either protective or they believe that women provoke a reaction from men. Meanwhile, women model themselves in a way as to not to be targeted. Basically, society says that a woman on her own must accept eveteasing,” the 23-year-old fumes.

Undeterred, she started ‘Blank Noise’ in 2003. “It was a shift from silent grousing to dealing with offenders in public places. We had workshops exploring such issues as ‘feeling victimised’ and being a threat to men. But it was still a small-time project,” she says.

Blank Noise would have remained unknown if Patheja had not moved on to the internet in 2005. “I started the Blank Noise blog, and put up pictures of offenders and the many stories of women who had endured or hit back. Suddenly, there was a lot of interest and questions about the project, and the project became a movement that swept across the country.” A 2006 blogathan on the issue elicited even more response from both men and women.

Cut to 2008. The simplicity of the project – anybody anywhere can join and chart their activities – has helped create Blank Noise core teams and yet more teams within, and so much participation that there is no way to map the numbers. All activities, from getting new members to deciding venues and timings of activities are decided on the blog. “We have a huge presence in all the metros and the smaller cities. Recently, there are requests for a Pune chapter,” Patheja explains.

The philosophy of Blank Noise is to help women understand that nobody has the right to intimidate or insult them. The project has empowered many women and men around the country to fight back and do something when placed in humiliating situations.

“When we initiate a project, we arm all the volunteers with whistles, so if any woman gets into a confrontation, all the volunteers assemble on the spot.” The combat philosophy is to stare in the offender’s eyes in silence till he cracks. “Mostly the men either apologise or shuffle away,” Patheja explains.

At the core of the movement, however, is the idea that a victim must heal and confront the experience by sharing it with others. “It is not okay to be sexually harassed on the street. It is not okay to put up with it,” Patheja signs off.

Want a piece of the action?
Log on to http://www.blogblanknoise.org and get updates on where the next interaction is happening. The blog will also give info on what constitutes eve teasing and be sure to check the stories of others who are part of the network. If you want to start a chapter in your city or town, contact Jasmeen Patheja on blurtblanknoise@gmail.com for details.

Part 3: Villagers fight back

2008-05-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

END TO EXPLOITATION
Mulshi, Maval ready to take on Tatas

VRUSHALI LAD
reporters@sakaaltimes.com

For decades, farmers from Maval and Mulshi talukas have silently watched the far-away Mumbai city thrive by using the energy produced on their land using water in their region. But now with the Tatas proposing yet another dam near Chinchavli that will impound enough water to produce 100 MW of power, the villagers have decided that enough is enough.

They are set to launch an offensive against the Tata move, which is likely to submerge eight villages spread over 14,500 acres, just the way 109 villages had lost over 58,000 acres from 1917 for the six dams built earlier.

In a distant echo from the past, when Senapati Bapat had led the famous Mulshi Satyagraha against the Tata dams, the farmers are again gearing up for a big ?ght.

“We will not let Tatas build the dam,” said Indubai Enpure, sarpanch of Chinchavli and three villages. “We demand free power and water. If not free, power and water must at least be subsidised. We can’t sit and watch a dam being constructed and our people being relocated without something tangible in return,” she said.

“If the Tatas and the authorities try to evict us by force, we will have to resort to other means,” Enpure warned.

Activist and former Bhambarde sarpanch Eknath Dighe said, “The lease granted by the state to the Tatas expires in 2014. By initiating work on a new project, the company thinks it can get the lease extended. We will oppose that until we get a signed agreement accepting our demands.” Maval villagers have pre pared over 1,100 affidavits for submission to a court. The affidavits seek free power and water from the Tatas.

“When resources of an area are used in a project, local citizens have the first right to the output. The tehsildar’s office has no legal documents to show that our lands were acquired and compensation paid.

So our demand for free water and power for 24 hours is justified,” points out Tata Dharan Grast Sangharsh Samiti secretary Niketan Palkar.

Scores of activists like Dighe and Palkar are trying to educate villagers about the dangers of allowing a new dam. “Lack of awareness has allowed outsiders to grab what belongs to us.

Even now, the impression is that it is pointless to fight for what is lost. But we will try to ensure that future generations don’t have to go through what we did,” says Dighe.

Concludes

Part 2: Mumbai 'farmers' grow money on land

2008-05-13T19:57:00.000-07:00

IT'S A RICH MAN'S WORLD Mumbai 'farmers' grow money on land

VRUSHALI LAD
reporters@sakaaltimes.com

Given India’s agrarian economy, it is likely that the ancestors of each of us were farmers. But many of Mumbai’s rich and famous have used that fact to prove by default their farmer status and buy forest land.

While actor Amitabh Bachchan’s farmer status raised a controversy after media reports that he had purchased 20 acres of farmland in Pavna village in 2000, it is now known that many more ‘farmers’ hold sizeable land in Maval, Mulshi and Pavna villages.

Thespian Dilip Kumar owns 221 acres in Kurvande village.

He has a bungalow there, complete with water bodies and sprawling lawns. Through his partner Col. Baldev Singh Bhatti (Retd), Dilip Kumar is developing a major portion of the land to build villas for sale.

Col. Bhatti told Sakaal Times, “The land was purchased in 1981, and the house built shortly thereafter. Most of it is grassland, some of it being of semi-agricultural variety. Dilipsaab had produced his farmer documents at the time of purchasing it. “ Talathi Kalbhor said, “ Dilip Kumar’s documents showed that his family was into farming in Peshawar (now Pakistan).” In Kurvande village is actor Kanwaljeet Singh’s sprawling home. Further down the road are several more lush bungalows belonging to film personalities and businessmen.

People objecting to tower blocks in Mumbai on forestland have obviously not visited Mulshi. Levelling of hills and cutting down of trees are rampant here to make way for private housing or vacation resorts. The construction industry is booming in many villages. Most of the owners are from Mumbai.

Pavna taluka is simmering because of an unusual type of land acquisition. Over 1,000 acres of semi-agricultural surplus land was leased to private parties after 1995 for irrigation purposes, although, according to a 1978 policy decision of the State, unused surplus land should be returned to the farmers. “However, according to a 1995 Supreme Court order in a case from Kerala, there is no need to return the land if it was used for public purposes by the state or was auctioned,” says local activist Vikas Thakar.

The mistake the farmers committed was to delegate development rights to the land agents. “The agents exploited the farmers to the hilt. The result is that there is hardly any farming activity in the region any more,” says local resident Kisan Kalekar.

Sixty Pavna plots were leased in 1995 for Rs 20,000 for five years. “They were leased for farming or developing nurseries. The lease has now expired. But there has been no farming,” Thakar says.

Only farmers have been the losers in these transactions.

“They were given Rs 2,000 to Rs 5,000 per acre. Now the developer is selling at Rs 20 lakh and more per acre, “ says Thakar. The most expensive land is priced at as high as a crore of rupees per acre or even more.

Part 1: So that Mumbai, Pune could have light

2008-05-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

Nowhere does a time warp exist as it does in the Mulshi and Maval talukas of Pune district. As many as 109 villages here have facilitated the progress of Mumbai and Pune with a key input - uninterrupted power supply. Yet, lights remain switched off more often than not in these villages.

In 1917, villages in the Western Ghats had no modern amenities or power, but they did have steady income through farming. Then Tata Power Company arrived, first in Maval and then in Mulshi.

Through the State Council, it acquired 44,000 acres of land in Mulshi and another 14,000 acres in Maval to build six dams.

To ensure Mumbai’s march to progress, water from these reservoirs was taken to three power stations at Bhira, Khopoli and Bhivpuri. They provided, in JRD Tata's own words, “clean power for Mumbai city”.

The prosperous local landowners, however, did not get power for 60 years after the first power generation unit was set up in Khopoli in 1918, despite giving up their land for the power generation project.

Cut to 2008. Mumbai faces no load shedding except in some areas. The city shines brighter after darkness envelops other regions. In Pune, life goes on under lights. In a tragic paradox, 109 villages in these talukas consider themselves lucky if one gets a power line, a community water tap or an approach road. They're exceptionally lucky if they have all three.

Nine villages in Mulshi have never flipped a light switch on. Piped water has still not reached 16 villages in the two talukas. Over 5,000 affected families live on the fringe of their former homes, spread over 58,000 acres of agricultural land in arid settlements lacking basic amenities.

The absence of roads and streetlights means that people from Susale have to trudge 2 km from Gaute to reach their village, which has no power.

However, 300-mw power comes from the reservoir near Susale.

There are some more weird facts: 18 nameless villages in Bhushi region have to pay encroachment tax, as they are not marked in the City Survey! At Bhushi, villagers trudge 3 km for cremations. And they have no public toilet.

Sahara's Amby Valley has 24hour drinking water and power supply, but the village that gave the valley its name Aambavane - has no water and suffers 8-hour power cuts daily.

In an even stranger twist, naval training school INS Shivaji was set up in Maval in the 1960s after displacing two villages. It has its own dam. The two villages and its residents settled 3 km away are now not allowed to venture into the area.

“The company makes Rs 25,00,000 per minute by selling power from our land. We have neither amenities nor something that can be described as life. Why should Mumbai progress at our cost? Why must we continue to be poor?” asks Niketan Palkar (42), secretary of the Tata Dharan Grast Sangharsh Samiti (Maval and Mulshi). How much power do the villages need? Adding up all domestic use and small industry consumption, not more than 10 mw. The three powerhouses supply Mumbai 444 mw. And there is a proposal for a 100-mw unit by constructing one more dam.

To be Concluded

Here I is.

2008-05-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

I am back. Back with a huge reality check. It's pointless to say how lucky we are that we live in Mumbai blah blah. The point is not to mull over the given. The point is to explore and live with the other side of the story. There is always a dark other side - sometimes obvious, sometimes clothed in ironical humour.

The point of being a journalist is to see the other side. Numerous times through the two days I came close to tears. Nothing can make you want to cry than the sight of a child playing with somebody's discarded wooden toy as if it was a Barbie. There is no chance of that child ever knowing or experiencing the thrill of owning a Barbie. It tears your heart when so little can make someone so happy. At a time when you're in the prime of your life and seeking newer avenues in the quest for professional and personal excellence, it stops you in your tracks to know that for somebody out there, there is no avenue and there is no prime of life.

All there is, is hope and a huge measure of enforced poverty. This is how we are progressing in the 21st century...with the rich getting even richer and the poor not moving beyond the confines of their homes because there is nowhere to go.

Little wonder that terrorism is born everyday. There's always a reason for even the basest of acts - depriving someone of their resources to gain something for yourself, is one of them.
----------------------------------------
The stories will appear in serialised form. Look out for each in the space above this one.

Bring in the new

2008-05-06T01:44:00.000-07:00

This post is a plug. And for good reason, because Sakaal Times launches tomorrow. Pune office is an excited kind of tizzy - apparently they've been putting in tonnes of work for over a month getting ready for the launch. The new product is for them to actively nurture and take the brickbats for. Over here, life goes on much as usual.

Wow, I'm actually part of a process that will see a new hope for all of us idiots who still believe in the power of the written word.

Keep logging on to www.sakaaltimes.com for daily updates on just about everything.

You know you're in love when...

2008-05-01T02:54:00.000-07:00

- You don't need to spell out anything, just a glance will do. Like when we're in a restaurant and a really fat person passes by, we just widen our eyes a bit.
- You go all gooey at the sight of a chubby infant.
- You tell yourself, 'My kid is going to be like that'.
- You want your kid to have his looks and your brains, not the other way around.
- You have a set of words and incidents that can make you laugh no matter what or where.
- You've just dropped the person off after a long day together but you still want to go back and complete the conversation.
- Your daily schedules match, right from the time you wake up till the time you sleep. And you're in two different houses and offices.
- You start the day by cribbing unitedly about a bad display for your story or about how bad the HT is.
- You make lunch dates you don't honour but don't fight about.
- You wait hours at railway stations so you can travel back together.
- You refuse to sit through bad movies and cry like kids during good ones.
- You are intellectually and ethically well matched but you notice that only when thrown in together during a crisis.
- You wait patiently at night, armed with books and snacks, for him to reach home and call you so you can say goodnight.
- Also because you have no other way of knowing when he got home.
- He goes out shopping for you though he's daunted at the prospect of going through girly stuff.
- He smiles when you ask him to though he's not in the mood. Only because you like his dimples.
- He cries with you.
- You hug him and he's a perfect fit.
- Both of you love harassing your younger sister.
- You can't imagine being with anyone else, ever.
- You can argue like cats and make up later, with the promise of not fighting again. Then you fight over that, because you like to fight.
- You find two white hairs on his head and think they're cute.
- You have this conversation:
"Gosh, I'm bored."
"Hmm. Chal, bhaag jaate hain..."
"Not today. I'm bored."
"Okay, kal."
"Pukka."

Phased out

2008-04-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

It's like my life (okay, yours too) was written down and set in a series of phases before I grew up and spelt Phases correctly.

Phase 1 was when you were the tiny person, first in diapers, then in squeaky shoes, then in your first school uniform and hankie pinned to your pinafore, who cried when upset and who barfed in the car with enviable consistency. You got spanked once daily and hated your mum for about 10 minutes before toddling off to either look for something to eat or something to do. Then your mum served you dinner, you ate, farted, and went to bed.

Phase 2 was when you didn't realise that the charm of adolescence and then early teenage has nothing to do with growing up, but in being able to laugh incessantly at everything. A teacher slipping and falling in the hallway could convulse you as much as dirty sexual jokes. That gift of perpetual merriment actually pulled you through the tough teenage years when we either started looking really gawky or developed permanently good skin. Either way, we laughed.

Phase 3 was when we entered college and realised a) that the dirty sexual jokes in school were plain silly and the opposite of funny and b) that school was such a cool place to be in, a truth that we missed completely when we were still in school. Stupid only. We were initially flattered, then daunted, then finally hysterical at being forced into premature adulthood. Then we turned 18 and were reminded that legally, we were adults now. Nobody ever noticed that I was never legally sane, 18 or otherwise. And legal adult meant we could have our own bank accounts and could vote, but could not have sex or our own landline phones without the parents hacking us to pieces. You realised for the first time that there are double standards to everything.

Phase 4 was learning to accept that we were legal adults. Everybody hated it, especially the realisation that there are two types of adults - one, the adults who do cool stuff like have jobs and make money and buy their own houses, while the other did silly things like give exams and study and beg for an increment on their pocket money. But what you hated most was those little adults, some from your own class, who studied and made money and actually enjoyed being an adult in every sense. Phooeey.

Phase 5 was changing colleges for your graduation year. Along the way, you realised just how much life had taught you so far (Nothing) and just how much you needed to learn (Everything). We did our degree college studies, did our parents a favour by passing the exams mostly on the first attempt, made some really kickass friends and yup, learnt how to get the laughter back in our lives when there was very little funny happening in the first place.

Phase 6 was graduating but not feeling any pride over it because heck, we started working four days after the final exams ended. And come on, we expected to pass, we're not that dumb (mostly). We enjoyed the job immensely till we stopped enjoying it - then with typical pigheadedness, we quit and sat at home till the next job came along. In this phase, we changed jobs like we changed our minds - suddenly and without warning. And did not regret it either.

Phase 7 was when we turned into our parents and started thinking about settling down and saving money and not overspending and not go changing jobs like we changed our minds. Okay, so we thought about it for about five minutes, but bhavnaon ko samjho. Then we compounded our own miseries by actually falling in love for no reason other than it seemed like a good idea at the time. And to prove that we really hated our own guts and wanted nothing more than to get back at ourselves for no earthly reason whatsoever, we got married. Then we further sealed our fates by having children.

Phase 8 was when we looked at all the seven phases in our life and wondered, Man, why have I lived so long?

Phase 9 was when we decided that there was nothing we could do to change ourselves, mostly because we must learn to accept the way we are, and also because it is too hot. Then we toddled off to bed because the burden of existing was too much to carry on our shoulders just then.

Editorial II

2008-04-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

Fence sitters no more
When rulers and detractors agree

Maharashtra’s politics is taking an ominous turn. Though the ruling parties in the state publicly condemned the recent anti-migrant agitation launched by MNS chief Raj Thackeray, the latter’s views are now being cautiously agreed on by the same quarters.

The ongoing Budget Session of the State Legislature has been a study on the migrants debate receiving guarded but official sanction across all party lines. The Shiv Sena has, in as many as five different discussions on housing, employment, infrastructure, Belgaum and crime in this Session alone, boldly called for ‘outsiders’ entry to be stopped in Mumbai.

Previously, the ruling parties vociferously opposed such unconstitutional statements, most of which came from the Shiv Sena. But lately, there has been subtle agreement from as many as three major state politicians – CM Vilasrao Deshmukh, deputy CM R R Patil and Finance Minister Jayant Patil. While Deshmukh said that there were “ways to stop migrants” from coming to Mumbai, he added that post-2000 slums would never be regularised - a clear message that migrants could make living arrangements or stay out of Mumbai. R R revealed a statistical finding in the Legislative Assembly that migration and crime rates in Mumbai had both risen in five years. Finance Minister stated that people from other states should come to Mumbai to be productive, not just fill the city’s slums.

While saying the same things but in a different manner as the hardliner MNS and SS, the ruling combine is officially, and for the first time, blaming some of Mumbai’s chronic troubles on migrants – who, they say, tax the city’s resources, create slums wherever possible and add to law and order problems. Interestingly, every important discussion in this Session has taken this view at some point, but ministers have carefully balanced their rhetoric by saying that everybody is welcome to Mumbai. The state’s understated acknowledgment of the burden of running Mumbai has so far just stopping short of blaming migrants for leaving lesser opportunities for the locals.

Lifestyles of the poor and hungry

2008-04-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

H/l: State's kids hit by heart disease

Intro: About 1,000 ages 5 to 10 children have heart ailments, while others have skin and eye disorders, says health department

Byline: Vrushali Lad

Slug: Special Report

Mumbai: The state's financially backward children can only blame their poverty and lack of overall health awareness for a staggering new truth: 979 school children aged five to 10 years have been found to have heart diseases.

The figures have come to light from a School Health Report 2007 compiled by the state's family welfare department. As per the 37,00,000 Below the Poverty Line (BPL) school students surveyed in the last year from July to October 2007, the department has identified heart diseases, anaemia, worm infestation, night blindness, otatis, scabies, skin problems, eye diseases and dental defects among the children.

Speaking to The Herald, deputy director of the family welfare department Dr Vithal Khanande said, "It is stunning but not surprising that such small children have heart problems and other diseases also. Of all the heart disease cases discovered, we found that the children suffered from congenital heart disorders caused by developmental problems, or in other cases, when fevers or other illnesses were not treated on time, it affected the child's heart.

There are also some cases with ventricular septal defects. However, it all boils down to these kids' lifestyles – not enough nutritional food, no prompt medical treatment and no awareness of most diseases by the parents."

The state's kids are also falling prey to anaemia (59,667 cases), worm infestation (1,59,138), night blindness (10,845), otatis (15,865), scabies (17,887), skin disorders (15,391), eye diseases (19,341) and dental defects (1,35,186). The figures in each district are then considered for free treatments under the Jeevandayi Arogya scheme, and wherever necessary, operations are conducted at government-designated hospitals and clinics free of cost, the public health department said.

A Rs 1,95,00,000 corpus has been set aside for treating these children, public health minister Dr Vimal Mundada told The Herald.

Rice and shine

2008-04-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

March 30, 2008

H/l: India clicks to feed the world

Intro: Nation's web users are playing a vocab game to feed the hungry daily

Byline: Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: Each of us has, at some point of time, experienced what it feels like to forgo a meal. This may be fuelling India's participation in a unique 'feed while you learn' internet-based game, through which our country is opening up its heart to feed unknown hungry souls in other countries.

The website www.freerice.com allows the user to play a word vocabulary game in which with every right answer, the user donates 20 grains of rice through the organisation to the end user. Hence, the more you play, the more you learn and hence, the more rice you end up generating for the benefit of a hungry stranger.

India is the fifth highest rice generator on this programme, after US, Canada, UK and Australia. 22 countries have officially subscribed to the programme, and India is not one of them. Thus, India is the only non-participating country on the Top 5 list.

Add to that the fact that India's growing internet connectivity is helping such an endeavour in catching on very quickly.

"The response from India has been great. It is our fifth most popular country and it is contributing about two million grains of rice per day," said Martin Penner, Public Information Officer, World Food Programme of the UN, via email from Italy.

Freerice.com gives users the option of setting the difficulty level of the game and to listen to how the word is pronounced. "Hence, you feed your mind by learning new words in the English language, and while you learn, you end up feeding a hungry person somewhere. It's that simple," Penner told The Herald.

This is how the game works: the user can set the difficulty level and choose to hear how the word is pronounced. You will be given a word and multiple choices of which only one is the meaning of the given word. Every correct answer results in 20 grains of rice being added to your total. The rice grains are totalled once you stop playing and are paid for by advertisers.

The UN's World Food Programme volunteers then distribute the rice to the end users in four countries currently – Nepal, Uganda, Bangladesh and Cambodia.

The freerice.com website works on a no-profit basis and is linked with the UN's Food Programme since October 2007. "We get about five to 10 million page views a day, an average of about 7.5 million. Daily visitors are in the 3,00,000 – 5,00,000 range," Penner said.

Box:

Get cracking on your vocab:

- Go to http://www.freerice.com

- Select the difficulty level by clicking on Options

- If you get a word wrong, you will be switched to an easier level

- If you get a word right, you will be switched to a harder level

- There are 55 levels in all. Players generally complete 48 levels

- A tracker on the site registers how much rice you have donated even if you abandon the game mid-way

Tag, I'm forcibly It

2008-03-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Okay fine, I did this only because I was blackmailed into doing so by a persistent younger sister who would have adopted her usual policy of punishing me when I refuse her something - by sitting on me. Since life is dear to one and all, I go ahead with this tag:

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now (without taking their names):
You’re an ass and a fraudster and I’m going to kick you
You’re not as smart as you think
I was smarter than you even before I was born
Where is my debit card, you son of a bachelor?
Your mere presence makes me reach for a barfbag
This is tea? Seriously?
I would love to break up with you but I’ll just take you back some day
Get up and apply, you whatnot. Do you honestly think they are going to call you?
Oh please. Since when have you become Vir Sanghvi?
Maar de saale ko

Nine things about yourself:
I love filing stories
I like my food to have all or some of the following: cheese, butter, stroganoff sauce, crunchy chicken
I am severely technologically challenged
How sarcastic I get depends on how angry I am
I hate hitting anyone. But I do it when required
I feel nothing when I make someone cry
I can go for days together without a shower
I hate being the ugly duckling in the family
I changed from being a nervous kid to an impossible adult

Eight ways to win your heart:
Give me a back massage
Listen when I talk, not because I yell if you don't but because you're genuinely interested
To appreciate that it is okay if I am different from my sisters
Oil my hair
Buy me stuff I need without asking my permission
Appreciate my efforts
Tell me I look pretty. Not mind when I accuse you of lying
Plan an evening out for me

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
Gosh darn it, will she stop talking?
I want to go home
Nobody loves me
Yeah, she’ll start bitching about me next
I didn’t charge my iPod again??!
Okay. You asked for it, sucker
That will make me famous...

Six things you wish you never did:
Take up architecture
Meet Atul, Jesse, Prasad Sathyen, Gaurav, all of National’s classmates, Turja, some senior reporters
Cut my hair off
Get into an accident :(
Occasionally like my job
Not trying to forgive being the last to be told, and by a relative stranger, that my dad had suffered a heart attack and had been taken to hospital

Five Turn offs:
Pretend modesty
Assumed talent
Stupidity
Fishing for compliments
Unwashed clothes

Four turn on’s:
Books
Midnight snacks
Salary
Good photographs

Three things you want to do before you die:
Raise a smart, polite, fun kid
Cook well
Write a bestseller

Two smiley’s that describe you:
:O
:(

One confession:
I keep thinking I will meet a violent end. And that it's going to happen any day now.

What a bunch of duffers

2008-03-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

March 21, 2008

H/l: Only 5.1 pc Std 2 kids can read Marathi
Intro: State has faltered on education in rural Maharashtra
Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: Will the Rs 1,400 crores set aside in the Budget for the state’s education this year plug some major deficiencies in rural areas’ education? As per estimates for rural Maharashtra as enumerated in the Economic Survey 2007-2008, just 5.1 per cent children can read class II Marathi texts.

Even more shockingly, 12.2 per cent children cannot read at all, even their mother tongue Marathi. English capital letters seem to stump students right from class I to class VIII - 72 per cent of the former can’t and just 5.7 per cent of the latter can read capital letters in English.

The survey, titled ‘Annual Status of Education Report (ASER)’ was carried out by NGO Pratham, that surveyed the state’s villages during October and November 2007, to understand the educational status of children aged 6 to 14 years.

As per the survey, arithmetic fares even worse than the languages. While 10.5 per cent children in class I cannot perform any arithmetic operation, only 5.1 per cent and 0.7 per cent children can do subtraction and division.

Apart from these problems, there seems to be a marked absence of basic infrastructure for rural schools. 16.9 per cent class I to VIII rural schools in the state have no water and 8.6 per cent have no toilets provided. A huge 28.5 per cent class I to V schools have no water and 15.5 per cent schools in the same category have no toilets.

Other figures from the ASER findings:
- 1.2 pc class 8 students can read Marathi words
- 67.5 pc class 8 students can read easy English sentences
- 33 pc class 5 students can read simple English words
- Only 8 pc class 8 students can recognise numbers between 10 and 99

Hic and fine

2008-03-16T03:25:00.000-07:00

March 13, 2008

H/l: Medicinal liquor coming your way
Intro: …so are soaps, oils and cattle feed, courtesy the mahua flower that state produces
CORRESPONDENT

From: Vrushali Lad

Mumbai: At a time when the state is focussing on creating a booming grape wine industry for potential export, CM Vilasrao Deshmukh is about to add cheer to Maharashtra’s plans with a great new addition – Herbal Liquor – courtesy the mahua flower that is produced in huge quantities here.

Responding to a Calling Attention Motion moved by MLAs Nana Patole and others, who demanded to know why the state was not putting the over 3.35 crore mahua trees’ produce to good use, Deshmukh said, “This is an untapped territory, but we will shortly put together a scheme under which we can establish wineries using seeds to produce liquor, and set up units to produce soaps and oils using the mahua flowers.”

He added that this would benefit the tribal belts and unemployed especially in areas like Vidarbha, where the mahua trees grow in abundance.

Earlier, responding to the Motion, forest minister Babanrao Pachpute had extolled the virtues of the mahua trees. “With over 3.35 crore mahua trees, the state produces 50,000 tonnes of flowers and 20,000 seeds. One kilogram of mahua flowers gives 320 ml of liquor, which is healthy and herbal in nature,” he said.

He added that the flowers can also be used in making soaps and perfumed oils, so that those are two other industries that the government may consider.

Deshmukh explained that the government would work towards bringing the mahua flower business under one common programme, which would oversee everything from collection to manufacture of allied products. Legislators have been urged to meet him on the issue and offer inputs.